1:88 Autism

1:88 and not an epidemic per the CDC?

That is because they would have a HUGE backlash if they acknowledged anything environmentally was contributing to this enormous spike in the autism diagnosis.

I love my daughter unconditionally ~ quirks and all ~ but the challenges she goes through is not normal... I am not talking nuero-diversity, I am talking the biological complications of autism.

I am not even saying that vaccines caused her autism, she isn't "directly" vaccinated.... but environmental toxins most certainly plays a part and I do have too many friends whose child was typical prior to specific vaccines....

Our government needs to eat crow and acknowledge the role big pharma, industrialized farming, food additives, petroleum tar-based dyes in our foods, approved household chemicals, industrialized birthing practices etc plays not in just autism, but all childhood disorders that are at an all time high... cancer, adhd, diabetes, ms, down syndrome, add, anxiety, ocd, sensory processing disorder, aggression, etc.

Keep Sick Kids Out of School

If schools (dictated by the state) didn't enforce strict attendance policies and had better defined truancy policies.....

AND if employers would honor a mother's (or father's) inherent right to take time off with her (his) sick children AS NEEDED....

THEN when a child was ill, the parents would have the freedom to allow their children to stay home as long as it took to get them well.

Therefore, If less kids were sent to school sick (even in the early/late stages of a virus), less kids would get sick and this would save the employers dollars; and student sick days used would organically be lessened too ~ resulting in the district benchmarks being met.

And most importantly our children would be sick less often.

So, School Administrators (including secretaries).... stop making us feel guilty for making the call not to send our children to school when the child is sick or showing signs and symptoms of becoming sick.

Employers..... change your sick leave policies. It is ridiculous to think a parent will only miss 3-5 days a year for themselves AND their children being under the weather. Especially single parents or dual working parent households.

Parents.... take your power back! When your child is sick the single most important thing to that child is a parent's care and presence. Keep your children home when they are sick!! Then other children won't get sick as often!!! And those children wouldn't pass it back to your children!!

A vicious cycle solved.

Autism and Breastfeeding

So, you might be asking what breastfeeding has to do with autism. Well, nothing really… and yet everything in our corner of the world.

April is Autism Awareness Month; I have blogged on just about every topic pertaining to autism… except breastfeeding. Which, to me, seems a bit ironic as that is the single activity that began our quest to discover that autism was in our midst.

Another reason I find this strange is that I am a breastfeeding advocate. In fact, I dedicated a whole chapter in my book, The Mother Consciousness, to breastfeeding. The content ranged from the obvious (the health benefits, economic afford-ability and expressing milk) to the taboo side of nursing (reclaiming the breast as a rite of passage into motherhood as opposed to a sexual icon, nursing beyond infancy and tandem nursing non-multiple birth siblings).

Then of course, there was my self-proclamation of being an expert on breastfeeding. Obviously this was purely my own experiential honorary achievement that I had created. The Mother Consciousness was inspired by my innate desire to explore how the Jungian maternal archetypes had influenced my mindful decisions to partake in natural childbirth and my inherent choices within early motherhood. However, even with years of mindfully nursing my own children, I still was not aware (because it wasn’t evident yet) that nursing also would play a major role in the diagnosis, socialization and developmental growth of my autistic daughter.

The circumstances and awkwardness of nursing my second born daughter offered the first inkling that something wasn’t ‘quite right’. I vividly remember lying in the bed nursing while making googly noises – and feeling a sinking sensation when I noted she wouldn’t look at me or respond to my obvious attempt to interact with her. She stared off in space… into a private world of her own.

I thought this was an odd reaction. So I started to softly… then not so softly, say her name. She didn’t even wiggle a wee bit. I began to have flashbacks of her older sister nursing at this age (5 months) and she would gaze up into my eyes and reach for my face. I felt a panic in my heart as a siren was going off in the confines of my own mind that something wasn’t right.

Over the next two days, the same scenario repeated itself over and over… I increasingly grew more anxious. I knew in my heart that something was wrong, but I did not know it was autism. In fact, it would take years to get professionals to listen to me that something was wrong.

On the Eve of her first Christmas, I finally uttered to my husband, “Honey, we need to talk.” He got that look he gets in his eyes when he senses something is wrong. I took a long deep breath, “I noticed something the other night… well, I am concerned.” (a long pause) “Every time I nurse Sahara she just stares off into space... You know, Emily always gazed in my eyes when she nursed. But I have been thinking… and I don’t think Sahara has ever looked up at me when nursing.”(an even longer pause) “Not even once. She also doesn’t respond to my voice. Do you think she could be deaf?”

I saw tears immediately flow down his cheek as I validated some of his hidden concerns. My heart broke in a million pieces that night. To make a long story short the pediatrician blew our concerns off and said it was because I was a new mom. I reminded him that I have been a mother for 5 ½ years and know when something isn’t right, and there was something wrong…

Fast forward 4 years… Sahara was finally diagnosed with infantile autism on Halloween day 2008. Every time I tell this story, emotion catches in my throat as I think about how she gazed off into space when I nursed her and how the psychologist told us to prepare to institutionalize her because of the severity of her symptoms.

But I also remember her tiny fingers wrapped around mine, caressing me as if to say, “I am in here Mama… don’t worry.” And I think about how, even with the autism, she was able to seek my comfort through my motherly breasts when she was hurt, upset or frustrated just like her nuero-typical sister. That somehow, innocently touching my bare skin brought her the safety she needed in a world that was full of triggers and overwhelming stimuli for her; I was her comfort and transitional object.

I think about her eating disorder (children with autism often are picky eaters or experience pica) how I was always reassured in the fact that she breastfed beyond infancy, so I knew she was getting the most perfect nutrition. And how when she got sick (children with autism often have gut issues and compromised immune responses) I knew that she was still getting healthy anti-bodies through the breast milk. And even though she was catatonic for the first four years of her life, she was able to still bond and interact with me at a level that is beyond comprehension.

I venture to say that the mindful act of breastfeeding and attachment parenting may very well have been the catalyst to help set the stage to pull her out of catatonia when even the psychologists said institutionalization was going to be the only option. I am not ashamed to say we nursed her way beyond toddler-hood. I do believe that when she did not have words, that this motherly act alone, was a way for us to connect and interact with meaning. And when I see her breastfeeding her baby dolls and nurturing them through this intimate act today, I find peace of mind in knowing that she is learning how to express care, love and compassion for another human being.

This past weekend she was on the couch cuddling with me when she started to repetitively poke my breast with her small pointer finger. I smiled at her when she gazed up at me (perhaps I even silently rejoiced that at 6 years of age, she is finally able to gaze into my eyes without hesitation and that by some means we are able to create and nurture those building blocks that she missed during infancy).

What I didn’t expect in that moment, though, was for her to say, “Milk all gone.” I nodded yes and she continued in her broken early speech pattern to say slowly with much effort, “Milk broken. Mommy doctor. Doctor fix Milk.” Tears welled up in my eyes as my heart fell in love with this child for the ten-millionth time!

“No, the doctor can’t fix ‘Milkies’. Sahara is a big girl now, so the milk went bye bye.” We sat there in silence, her fingers continued to poke my breast as our breath synced together just like when she nursed.

“Mommy?”

“Yes, Sahara?”

“Milk all gone?”

“Yes, Milk all gone.”

“Sahara sad.”

“I know. Mommy sad too.”

So why is this interaction so important to share? Simply because it is the most concrete, expressive, lengthy ‘conversation’ we have ever shared together. Amazingly, the act of breastfeeding my daughter continues today to create opportunities for advancement.

If I had one thing to share with young women or expectant mothers, it would be… if you have genetic markers of autism and even if you don’t, seriously consider nursing your child. Nursing your child is not just about feeding him/her. Nursing your child is about cultivating essential human bonding and stimulating neurodevelopment and immune enhancement. Nursing your child could just be that vital gateway for future possibilities to manifest… and that could be ‘utterly’ colossal.

Product Review: Getting Into The Vortex

Getting Into The Vortex

Guided Meditations CD and User Guide

By Esther and Jerry Hicks

Let me introduce you to Abraham.

The first thing you need to understand is that Abraham isn’t a person. Yes, that is correct, Abraham is not a person. Abraham is what Esther Hicks accesses while inspiring and motivating others to live a more balanced life through the Law of Attraction. Abraham is an energy source that has had many different labels throughout the ages. To Esther, Abraham is the vehicle in which she creates inspiration, hope and opportunity for all who participate in these teachings.

I am certain some will see this as hocus pocus, new age, metaphysical or possibly even blasphemous. However, I believe that none of that is accurate. In fact, I have found the teachings of Abraham to reinforce my relationship with and trust in God. If you look beyond the manner in which Esther presents her information … the messages that are left are consistently based in The Ultimate Vibrations of love, peace, joy and harmony.

In a time when the world is full of hate, disease, war and economic hardships this is an important message for all to hear.

And to keep in alignment with Alterna-Mom’s message, in a time when our children are experiencing challenges academically, emotionally, physically, and cognitively at an all time high, this is the perfect message to elicit strength and personal empowerment for mainstream parents.

Abraham offers hope and inspiration. Abraham teaches us how to get into a ‘place’ in which we can tap into our true potential and manifest solutions to our challenges. Abraham calls this place The Vortex. The Vortex is simply a meditative state in which we can find solutions to the difficulties in our lives. This isn’t a magical place or a placebo effect, but a meditative discipline in which the solutions can and often do surface.

In the teaching of Abraham, The Vortex is the place in which all things are created… in Christianity, we call this place prayer.

Abraham states that it is not necessary to meditate for more than 15 minutes per day. In fact, they say life is about living, not contemplating about living… and so Abraham has presented us with an effective tool, Getting into the Vortex Guided Meditations CD and User Guide, to teach us how to efficiently meditate and get into this Vortex where intention and creation occur.

In the Guided Meditations CD, Esther’s voice gently carries you through the meditations. Her voice is calm and soothing; eliciting an instant relaxation. Your breath seems to lose itself into the rhythm of the background music… ebbing in and out. Abraham tells us that this is the most important result of this tool; sitting still for 15 minutes a day allowing our breath to match the rhythm of the music on this CD. We do not have to understand what is being said. In fact, we do not have to alter anything in our daily routines, but to find time to be still and breathe.

The most prominent words to me throughout the Getting Into The Vortex CD is “Breathe in, Breathe out.”

In fact, since using this CD, I find myself saying these four words, “Breathe in, Breathe out,” often over my internal chatter during challenging moments. With that, I am able to easily re-center myself through the simple act of consciously breathing. It is in this connection that I remember “who-I-really-am” and remember to release control over many things I have no control over.

There are four tracks on this CD that can empower your life:

• General Well Being Meditation
• Financial Well Being Meditation
• Physical Well Being Meditation
• Relationship Well Being Meditation

Each is unique in verse, yet a similar presentation. I felt that this consistency allowed me to relax more quickly regardless of the track I was listening to. I also have found this to be a perfect way to incorporate meditation into your child’s life. Simply play the CD in the background while your child is playing, bathing or resting and observe subtle changes in the child’s Well Being.

If you are the left brain thinker (like me) that must know what each phrase means and how those words can educe profound change in your life, the User Guide will be a delightful reference book for you. This guide offers clarity. Abraham has elaborated on each phrase in this guide so that everyone can have a deeper understanding to what is being said and intended in this meditative tool.

If you are interested in learning more about Abraham, Esther and Jerry Hicks, or The Vortex, I suggest you look at the links below. This is a very powerful tool for your whole family to achieve all the benefits of basic meditation and much more!

Hay House

Amazon

Barnes & Nobel

Chapters Indigo (Canada)

Alterna Mom's Wi-Active Challenge: The Why and Day 1-3

BECOME MORE PROACTIVE IN YOUR PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL, SPIRITUAL, AND FINANCIAL HEALTH AND THAT OF YOUR CHILDREN!

That is my Alterna-Mom motto! I have to humbly say that if Alterna-Mom's Blog is about promoting health and well-being on all levels of our existence, then she needs to heed her own advise.

I have insisted that my habitual tiredness and dark circles are from sleepless nights of worry about my children and obsessing over the details I orchestrate in my mind's eye on how to move forward on helping my daughter diagnosed with autism to become more functional, safe and communicative while advocating for her rights, needs and education. (Not to mention the advocacy I do for my other child as well... raising kids mindfully takes time, energy and planning.) However, I recently took my own blood sugar levels and the results scared me. I swayed between a consistent 123 and 236 during a week of testing.

My Mom was diagnosed with diabetes at about the same age I am now, 40. She controlled it with diet at first, then the pill and finally insulin shots. This past Spring the diabetes finally claimed her leg after an intense year of surgeries, heart attacks and gangrene. I knew at this precise moment in time that I needed to become more proactive in my own health, but somehow we use life as a convenient excuse to resume our old habits.

I have understood that I was already predisposed to diabetes not only via paternal and maternal history, but through evidence of gestational diabetes with both of my pregnancies. However, I believe that the power of our minds, meditation and prayer can trump genetics. Maybe I am not so lucky or maybe I have caught it early enough... fate is always yet to be determined.

I am not one to run to the doctor, yet I know that there is a time and place like I explained HERE. I also am keenly aware that intention alone cannot alter reality. We must be proactive and make healthy decisions especially if we are going to stay around to see our children grow and spoil our grandchildren. I have always insisted that we must take care of ourselves before we take care of our children and loved ones. In order to be more present for them we must tend to our needs.

Perhaps the culmination of the sugar levels, my mom's fate and my recent kidney stone episode has pushed me just enough to heed my own advise. So, I bought primarily fresh fruits and vegetables at my bi-weekly shopping trip Friday night, then came home and pulled out the Wi-Active.

I decided to take the 30 day challenge... easy enough right? Somehow committing to a challenge seemed easier than randomly using this devise. So, I set parameters including my weight... ouch!! I weigh what I weighed when I was 9 months pregnant with my oldest child. That alone should have prompted me to do this a long time ago.

HOLY MOLY.... Can running in place for 90 seconds really make me that out of breath... I can't help but wonder if that is still evidence of my smoking days. So, I use this as a teachable moment, "Girls, see what happens when you smoke?"

My eldest replies, "You don't smoke Mom!"

"Well, thanks to you (I quit with my first pregnancy) I don't, but I am certain that that is why I am so winded."

She says, "Really !?!?," I am not sure if her response is from the disbelief that her anti-smoking mother actually smoked once upon a time or if she is amazed at the honesty that I unconditionally offer them.

I have decided to document here my progress. Although this is a public venue, I think that it 1) will keep me honest and encourage me to continue through the first 30 days and 2) maybe it will motivate someone else to become more proactive in their health...

Day 1 It would have been easy to quit; it kicked my butt!! I was panting and resting in between sets. But my daughters were watching and encouraging me to finish... Did I ever tell you that my kids rock!?!

My muscles hurt... I wanted to sit down and throw in the towel... but I pushed through the whole workout. I have to admit, I was proud of myself... it would have been easier to listen to the million reasons why I shouldn't do this... How can I find the time? How can I find the energy? How much will it cost? Who will watch the kids? I need to save my energy for the kids. I need to get this done or that finished...

I burned 121 calories! That made me walk away from the donut later that day... all of that work equated to 1/3 of the donut!! Wow, that really put things into perspective.

Day 2 It was a more intense workout (and longer), but I was amazed at how much easier the track was in just 24 hours... really!! I still huffed and puffed, but I had better focus and was better able to push through the pain. That in and of itself amazed me.

I burned 151 calories yesterday... again, I was reminded of how much effort it takes to burn off those in between empty-caloried snacks.

It is Day 3 and I am grateful it is the day to rest... my legs were wobbly coming downstairs this morning. However, does a mother really have any days to rest? It is interesting on the Wi-Active it asks you to log your other activities with time and intensity. That includes playing with the kids, yard work, house work, walking etc. I presume I am not doing too bad already because I really do do a lot... maybe it is the cardio I am missing though.

There is no challenge today, so we have planned to start prepping the yard-sale stuff.... that is a work out! But I think later we will do some yoga - my muscles feel like they could use some good stretching.

I think this is good for me... on many levels. Plus, Emily has decided to partake in the challenge... so we are doing this together. Sahara was annoyed the first day... she thought we were going to play golf or fishing (her favorite Wi games), but yesterday she did a couple of the exercises with us... too cute... this may be a fun summer activity for the 3 of us.

Cell Phones: Luxury or Need?

We are changing cell phone plans and I had this great idea... close the first and post pone the second as long as I can to see how long we can go.

Yes, my primary motive was saving money... We are still recouping from hubby being out of work for 6 months after being downsized right before the holidays.

But, as I thought about it, I started wondering if the controversial frequencies they emit really affect our health & well-being and do they pollute our air & environment? As you know these are the thoughts that keep me up at night.

Then I started wondering, if the cell phone tower or the "phone company" building that was next to the building I worked when pregnant with Sahara, could have contributed to the infantile autism? Purely based on the energy model... it most certainly is probable.

Of course there is also my consideration that the age of industrialization is doing more global harm then good. And I am talking on a spiritual, physical and emotional level.

Industrialization has introduced more pollutants in our environment than ever before (BP oil spill case in point). It has torn families apart as they moved away from family farming to the city life. We have left our elders who helped us raise and guide our young children... now strangers turned childcare providers are caring for our kids.

I could go on... but you get the point.

Back to the cell-phone issue... My big question was can we do without this modern day luxury that is now viewed as a need?? Is it possible in the 21st century to forfeit something that we have created the construct of necessity for?

After all, this is precisely the experiment I did with cable TV 5 years ago. And, yes, we still are cable free... Instead of television, we now play games, go to parks, read books, and nurture our bodies, minds and relationships naturally.

Well, 4 weeks is a far cry from 5 years... but, we are on week 4 of no cell phones and I don't miss it (other than the Long Distance calling). I miss calling my mom anytime. Especially since I can't just hop in the car and drive to her house... she lives 3 hours away.

Of course my IT hubby is probably going insane. He has had phones attached to the hip for years... I would think not being at the beckon call of others would be refreshing to him. He says he misses not being in touch with me and the girls. That is valid. If there is an emergency we are no longer connected like we were with the phone.

I presume that that is our biggest hurdle. What if Sahara gets lost in a crowd or what if there is an emergency when we are in the community... what do I do?

And now that we are in the height of tween-dom with Emily, we have promised her that when we order our new phones, she is to get her own. Not because we want her to be hip, but for the same reasons I think we need one. Remember the dime our mothers used to give us when we went out with our friends, "If you need anything call me!"

Have you noticed phone booths are a thing of the past?

So, I am on the line... now pun intended. Do we go another 4 weeks of my experiment or do we bite the bullet of the industrialization age and buy the new phones and plans.?

Oil Spill, Meditation and Eradication

The oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico is going to impact our planet, children and grandchildren, ecology, economy, etc. for centuries to come... that is if we survive it at all!! I watch videos, view pictures and read story after story; and my heart aches for our planet and mankind. I can’t help but worry about what devastation this will behind. I pray, but I am not sure that is enough.

I try not to focus on the obvious detriment of the situation. I firmly believe in the law of attraction and know my thoughts can and do create my reality. So, I try to meditate and focus on purified waters, a healthy marine habitat and a repaired oil tank. I figure that if the scientists and engineers who are armed with technology cannot fix the massive oil rig tank, then surely our thoughts can.

Well, I have to admit that is even hard for me to ascertain. I try, but I keep returning to thoughts of destruction and greed. I cannot help but to beg the power and money hungry individuals in charge to get off their duff and do something about this before it kills not only the planet, but the people who inhabit her too!! Stop defending Big Oil and take action!!

I feel like my pleas are met on deaf ears. I contemplate that if the powers to be can make vulgar statements about the oil spill and not take proper action to remedy the situation, and then it is very possible that the same greedy bastards could be making vulgar statements to discredit concerned parents and deny vaccine injury while continuing to pump that toxicity into our bodies? Sadly, this makes me feel validated. Sadly, this is probably close to the truth.

We live in a corrupt society where money and power make us do things that are incomprehensible. We turn the cheek when it doesn’t directly affect us or when we are seemingly removed. But, I have to say that we are not removed from either of these scenarios. Our children are being vaccine damaged as well as poisoned by toxins and pesticides in their foods as well as in their toys. Just this week alone 2 children’s items were recalled for containing cadmium… Miley Cyrus brand Jewelry at Walmart and Shrek glassware at Mc Donald’s.

And yet, we think it to be so farfetched that vaccines might contain harmful ingredients? Another story surfaced this week about a congressional committee that is investigating what they are calling a ‘phantom recall’ on Johnson and Johnson division, Mc Neil’s, Motrin. Apparently, the company outsourced contractors to have individuals go into stores and buy the entire product on the shelf to prevent a nationwide recall.

There are some tainted business practices occurring and it is mankind that is paying. Of course, Sarah Palin would like to blame the ‘Radical Environmentalists’ for the recent Oil Spill, but we know better. It is a world full of greed and this too shall bite us in the ass. This spill will effect far more than the Gulf. It will affect the entire mother earth and her inhabitants. You know I think she will survive… but not without causalities. Mankind has been eradicated before, and we are not too far from it again. We are but a mere virus on her and her immune system is about to eliminate us.

I pray that I am wrong for our sake, for our children's sake, and for the sake of this planet that gives us life.

A Checker, A Cough and A Deal With GOD!

COUGH COUGH COUGH

Me: “Sahara, did you swallow a checker?”

S: “A Checker?”

Me: “Sahara, Did you eat one?”

S: “Yes”

Me: “You ate one?”

S: “No”

Me: “Sahara did you eat this?”

S: No response

Me: “Look at me…. Did you eat this?”

S: “Eat this?”

Me: “Is the checker in you?”

COUGH ***GAG*** COUGH

Me: “Honey are you okay?”

S: Points to mouth then to the checkers

Me: “Is there one in there?”

S: “No eat.”

If you have ever tried to get concrete information from a child diagnosed with autism compromised by a severe speech and communication delay, you know just how frustrating (almost on the brink of infuriation) that this type of a scenario can be. You don’t know if the speech you are hearing is echolalia or if the gesturing is part of a game or if it is telling you something.

You feel your energy begin to swirl… faster and faster into a panic. You lose your thoughts to your fears… and cannot think straight. You can’t remember if you heard a cough earlier that day and your mind can only embrace the worse possible outcome.

On the ride to the hospital emergency room, the silence is broken by this gaspy cough… then all is quiet again. It is a busy night in the ER! You register and sit down wishing that no one else was in your midst, certainly all the other parents are thinking the same thought; begging in their mind for their child’s aliment to be more important than the next to get the care they need first.

After an hour, you get called into triage. The nurse is annoyed because she has had to print out a third wrist band for your child and because of the sensory issues you know it won’t be the last. You say you will keep it on your wrist, but are quickly put into place and told it has to be on her body. Your relief of being in triage is quickly replaced with exasperation when the nurse redirects you back to the waiting area.

As you sit there you can identify with the other parents; all emotionally tired and frustrated. Suddenly you see a man come into the ER entrance with a gunshot wound. Whispers are contagious among the parents. You sit there with the fresh images of raw flesh held up in the air with a bullet wound dripping in crimson red. You unsuccessfully try to ground yourself.

The kids have to go to the bathroom, but the policewoman redirects you to a long corridor; they are guarding the gunshot victim and interrogating people at the bathroom entrance. You try to explain what is happening, but your kids have no clue what the word ‘gang’ means and have a difficult time following any explanation.

In the bathroom, your child begins this unnerving whine… you forgot to grab her special towel that she uses to wipe herself after going potty at the house. Her sensory issues are becoming even more agitated. You begin to doubt your decision to drag the whole family to the ER… it has been 2 hours since she supposedly swallowed the foreign object and she seems fine (fine, that is, other than this hoarse cough).

You wait awhile longer, and then they call you to a treatment. One nurse, a resident and a fellow later you are told they are going to do chest and abdominal x-rays. However, it is explained that the plastic checker will not show up on a film, so they are just looking at the integrity of the lungs, esophagus and abdomen. You agree to do the x-rays and are directed to another wing where you wait another 30 minutes.

You are relieved that your child is pretty cooperative for the x-rays as you stand next to her in a heavy lead apron. You wonder if the gown was comforting to her and as she seems to melt into the cold glass x-ray table. Back to the waiting room, then to the original treatment room and finally at 2:00 am you are told that there was nothing to show concern on the films…. However, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a checker still in her esophagus. It is thoroughly explained that the concern now is the checker being sucked into her lung if it is indeed lodged into the esophagus. If you suspect this is happening you are instructed to call 911 immediately… this will be notable if she begins gasping of air. You sigh knowing that is the sound of the cough that triggered this whole wild goose chase.

Discharge papers take another 30 minutes to arrive. Your oldest child is overtired and snipping at everyone. The patient’s sensory input is on overdrive and is now pacing the halls and pushing the automatic door buttons. Daddy has an intense look on his face that even makes you shudder and you, well, you have completely shut down. Your family has had it and is exhausted and ready to get home.

The kids fall asleep on the way home. Your child wakes every 20-40 minutes the rest of the night with this hoarse gaspy croupy cough. You don’t dare fall asleep as the fear of suffocation has forced your eyes to stay awake. You are constantly questioning yourself whether it is just a cough or the checker moving.

You are exhausted! You are tired, and I mean not just on a literal level, but on a deeper more profound level. The manifestations of the autism has taken your strength and you lay awake pissed about your plight… thinking about how it would have been easier if your child could just have said whether or not she had swallowed the fucking red checker in the first place.

As you focus on the hoarse breathing of the limp child laying in your arms, you begin to beg for God to make the Autism just go away. You pray for her to find her way out of its grasps so she can have a functional, productive life. You pray for that miracle that will bring your child her speech and functional communication with the morning sun, so you don't have to guess anymore during another crisis.

And in the depth of your quiet heart you pray that she will simply make it to her next birthday;

Then in the recess of your mind you begin to search for the cure that will simply make her 'normal';

Finally, in the seat of your soul, you strike a deal with God that He will simply and miraculously heal your child tonight...

NEVER Brush Face, Chest or Stomach

What would you do if you found out you were given a treatment protocol to do with your young child at home without knowing that there were specific instructions that you needed to take? And that the precautions were not addressed with you before, during or after you began treatment? In fact, you didn’t know that there were any warnings associated with a seemingly safe procedure until almost a year later!

Remember the old speech and occupational therapist that I fired… their lack of professionalism continues to haunt me. Yes, I know you thought I laid this to rest; honestly so did I… but here we go again! Only this time I am asking the question, “What do I do with this information?”

Recently, we ventured to Nationwide Children’s hospital to obtain a formal occupational therapy evaluation. During the interview I was asked about previous OT exposure. I refrained from saying what was really on my mind. Instead, I let her know that there were unprofessional circumstances that prompted her dismissal.

Somewhere during this evaluation the evaluator asked about a sensory diet.

“A Sensory What?!?!”

I responded, “The former OT never mentioned a sensory diet to me before… she mostly gave Sahara dittos and puzzles to complete coupled with jumping on a rebounder and balancing on a balance beam. In fact, when I told her I read somewhere that my OT should be able to help us with eating issues she just looked at me like a deer in head lights… that is when I started to question their ability to effectively treat Sahara. “

The evaluator said that she had seen other children with similar sensory issues as Sahara and that she thought she would highly benefit from this sensory diet. She said that we should start by teaching us how to do brushing. I responded, “Oh, well, the old OT did do that much. She gave me a little white surgical brush to use on Sahara when she felt agitated… I was instructed to stroke it on her at my own discretion and to try it on myself because it felt good.”

I didn’t understand the expression on the evaluator’s face; but it was clear something in my statement rubbed her wrong.

She continued to explain that ‘brushing’ was formally known as Deep Pressure/Porprioceptive Method Protocol for Sensory Defensiveness. I was then given a handout explaining this protocol and the instructions on how to do this which included the statement, “Only complete if you have been instructed by a trained therapist!”. It also included specific areas of the body not to use the brush on; “NEVER brush the face, chest, or stomach.”

Why was I never told this last fall when given the brush to use at home by the old OT?

As we discussed this further, I was informed that after carefully stimulating the specific deep pressure receptors of the skin you are suppose to do joint compressions (both in a set sequence) on the child to reset the nervous system. You end the session with heavy body work like carrying a backpack, sitting on a therapy ball, being hugged or anything else that stimulates the child proprioceptively and by stimulating the child orally like eating crunchy food, humming, or using a whistle. Each of these steps has a science behind it and it critical to the entire process.

“IF you rub the brush on the face, head or neck you could stimulate a seizure.”

WHAT!?!?!

Yep, and being that Sahara’s ECG showed epileptic frequencies, this was apparently a very dangerous thing to do without specific instruction. Oh, and by the way, I was informed that if you brush over the chest you could trigger heart problems and over the stomach could stimulate internal organ distress.

I was appalled that none of this was explained to me by the former OT. My only conclusion is that she does not qualify as the “instructed by a trained therapist.” Frankly, I wanted to march down there and rip her a new one, but the rational part of my essence stopped me. But, I am left with this innate pull to do something.

What do you think?

A Letter to President Obama:Autism Advocate Requests Your Attention

Dear Mr. President,

I can’t post-pone this letter any longer. There is a pestilence occurring among our children in America and we need your help!

My daughter was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) last Halloween. Progress is slow, but steady. We do feel restricted in the process of addressing her needs due to the law not requiring the inclusion of autism on insurance policies, the narrow-mindedness of some deemed professionals in the industry, and the lack of financial backing.

Mr. President, many parents and professionals have differing opinions about how to address the needs of these children and what causes ASD. I am sure you are aware that this is a hot topic and tempers flare. I am not going to address the causation in this letter, but am going to acknowledge that I quietly (and often) wonder if the two injections of the RhoGam inoculations mandated on me during pregnancy caused our daughter’s disability.

I am going to also point out that since implementing the medical model during the past few months our medical bills have surpassed our personal budget. Unfortunately, I think that Autism has become an industry rather than an epidemic. It infuriates me that many are getting rich off of the woes of our children. But, this isn’t about me and the need to find someone to blame. I have made peace with our circumstance, and thank God that he entrusted me with this challenge. (He must have recognized something amazing within our family construct to bless this family with such an amazing journey.)

There are others I am most certain that have been called to action by a higher order as well. For instance, Angela Warner—a military mom of four (2 with ASD), is an inspiration to each of us on this journey. Her drive to alert you, Mr. President, and the mother of your children, Mrs. Obama, about this epidemic and how it is affecting our military families is inspirational.

Men and women who have committed their lives to protecting ours, are fighting an even bigger battle and dealing with even greater grievances on their home fronts as well. I am not going to pretend to understand what is like to be a military family and face autism, this you can learn by accepting her invitation to meet in early October. Until then, you can read more about her bravery and endeavors at http://www.autismsalutes.com/.

Age of Autism, a daily web newspaper of the autism epidemic, recognizes Angela as an Air Force spouse, mother, and advocate for our children. Today, I am asking that you encourage Michelle Obama to meet with Angela to have a discussion about what American families are going through.

It won’t be long before the 1 out of 150 kids with ASD become of age… that will bring its own set of challenges. If we don’t act now, more money and resources will be required to meet the activities of daily living for this fast growing population. I encourage you to help the children of today for a better future tomorrow. I, personally, have signed an open letter to you on the web encouraging you to look into the environmental factors that could be contributing to this debilitating disorder.

Thank you for your action!
Susan Richardson
Mother, Wife & Autism Advocate

Happy 10th Birthday!

Do you remember the anticipation you felt on the eve of your 10th birthday? Turning double digits!! You eagerly went to bed certain you would be a completely different person upon rising... But, sleep didn’t come easy.

You lay there awake, your mind focused on that number… 10… it signified so much; perfection, coming full circle, centeredness. Although, as a blooming tween, your mind wasn’t focused on that symbolism as much as the party and being an almost teen… just 3 more years, that is 36 short months.

Girl, you rocked! You were on top of your game.

Then you woke up… you had to admit you didn’t feel much different than last night, however you did feel the surge of adrenaline pumping through you as you remembered your friends would soon be here to help greet you into the next decade of your life. You jumped out of bed to the smell of your special breakfast and your birthday was in full swing.

During my birthday breakfast the high pitched ring of the phone broke the excited chatter between me and my four siblings. My mom’s voice answered the phone; she guarded her words. Glances were darted around the room, but I seemed to be the only one who didn’t understand. When she was done with her muffled conversation she took me to my room.

What!?!? We did everything together. This was my big 10! We just talked about it last night about what we were wearing. I didn’t understand why my three cousins wouldn’t be coming. It didn’t make sense. Then she told me…

My favorite aunt, their mom, how?!?! I didn’t want to believe it. Moms don’t die. I know, she had been sick for some time, but she was going to get better. She just had to.

I don’t know how long I laid there crying. I remember feeling an incredible sense of grief and just couldn’t pull myself together. Then my sister yelled, “Perry is here!” My first guest, for my first big party, the whole class was coming. I didn’t know how I was going to get through the day, but I brushed my long blonde hair, put on my floral sundress, and headed out to the backyard.

…I still have the golden heart locket Perry gave me that year. Maybe as a treasure for my 10th birthday — from my first guest who had a hidden crush on me… or maybe as a hidden momentum for the broken heart that I endured that day. At ten I was sure I was all that, but somehow my aunt’s death seemed to snap me back to reality.

30 years later, as I prepared for my own daughter’s 10th celebration, I was determined to have it be a memory she, too, would never forget. Only this memory would be one of joy, laughter, and friendship. I know we cannot control the unforeseen, but I would do the best to protect her from the pain I endured on my 10th birthday. She was to feel like she was on top of the world for the whole day.

“Double digits, double the fun! Pick out your two favorite activities and that is what we are doing.”

So, on Saturday afternoon (with friends in tow) we headed to the horse barn. Most of the kids had never been on a horse before; the amazement in their eyes was enough to tell me that this was a moment being embedded in their youthful memories. The laughter flowed from them as they fed the horses carrots and apples. (This was way cooler than any commercialized birthday party.)

When I finished gathering the backpacks scattered by the arena, I turned to find the kids on the tractor bed bailing hay. They were working, but they didn’t know it… amazing!

Later they splashed in the pool; foreign squeals filled the farm air. After a splashing game of Marco-Polo, we headed back to the house for ice cream, cake, hot dogs and, of course, presents. She received gifts that were meaningful to her; a dinosaur shadow box was among her favorite along with art supplies and stuffed animals. I silently wondered if one would end up on the bottom of her hope chest, like my gold heart from Perry.

I felt a sense of accomplishment as I nestled down for the night; my thoughts swirling around the new generation full of stars in their eyes.

My Opposition To The Ice Cream Truck

It wasn’t long after becoming a mother that I decided that the ice cream truck was something to be avoided. But of course, ten years ago my reasoning was different than the motivation of today.

Back then I couldn’t comprehend, (well, I still can’t comprehend this one) how it seemed to be a good idea to have a complete stranger driving through neighborhoods with tantalizing music trying to lure children to his truck with treats. This concept went against the very grain I try to teach my children.

We do not approach strangers.

We do not accept candy or treats from strangers.

We do not walk up to a vehicle of a stranger.

Just yesterday we were driving through a neighborhood and my oldest daughter said with contempt in her voice, “What is that?!?!” Her dad tried to explain that someone had taken their personal black van and put stickers on it, wired speakers to the roof, and was portraying himself as the ice cream truck. Her face expression was all we needed as a cue that she understood that this was not deemed appropriate.

Now of course, he did not have the window on the side of his van, but he left the sliding door open and was leaning out the door taking orders. I couldn’t believe parents were permitting their children to approach this vehicle! Now, I only remember one news story about child abduction and the ice cream truck, but I presume that is one story too many.

The music that permeates from these vehicles turn our children into screaming tyrants demonstrating the Pavlov wasn’t wrong about his theory of conditioning. However, I successfully convinced my first born that this was a music truck bringing us joy to our ears. I also was able to explain to her that it was never okay to approach strangers in this type of vehicle or any vehicle to that matter.

For six beautiful years, each and every summer she would inform me that the music truck was coming through the neighborhood. But, she didn’t go running to my purse, begging me for some unforeseen treat. Instead, we would sit on the couch and hum the familiar tune.

It was her sixth summer when a neighbor kid let the cat out of the bag. She wasn’t mad though, but curiosity did get the best of her… so we begrudgingly went on our first ice cream truck adventure. After a couple of bites, she retorted, “This doesn’t taste very good.”

YES!

She was saved by her own common sense. So we went through the next several years with no interest from the music turned ice cream truck.

That was until this past weekend when the mother next door came running over to our house to get her child. Then she, too, apparently conditioned by the Pavlovian “It’s A Small World After All…” music, went running down the street flagging this truck to stop in front of our house.

My husband just looked at me as I shrugged my shoulders… I decided in order to not look like the hysterical mother of the neighborhood to invite my children to meet the neighbor’s at the foot of our drive way. However, up until this moment my now youngest did not even give a notice to this truck.

After 5 minutes of rude grunts and groans from the woman and man in the back of the van (we were obviously taking too much of their precious time), the kids had decided— I cringed as my older daughter picked the multi-colored rainbow snow cone and her sister pointed to the ice cream sandwich.

Luckily, once the wrapper came of the over-priced ice cream sandwich, she looked at it, scrunched up her nose at the lifeless attempt of food, set it down, and retreated to the freezer to get some rice ice cream.

ANOTHER VICTORY!

But my other daughter ate the whole snow cone.

We decided to serve watermelon a little later, since watermelon is known to naturally contain high amounts of vitamin C and A as well as loads of natural carotenoid antioxidants. Antioxidants enter the body and attack free radicals, allowing the body to be cleansed.

Soon after she consumed the watermelon, she retreated to the back sun deck. I went out to see if she was okay. She looked pale, her eyes had dark circles under them, and she was clammy. I asked how she felt and she said “nauseous”.

I am sure we were seeing the body trying to rid toxic chemical levels from that snow cone that was drenched in artificial colors, dye, high fructose corn syrup and preservatives. Her body isn’t used to that non-food crap and was trying to purge it.

She never threw up, but did go to sleep and woke up feeling better. I suppose we learned that the choices of treats that mom puts in the freezer are much more compatible with the human body. Artificial crap is neither nutritious nor safe for the body!

In the future, we will resort to the freezer filled with the real food that our body’s desire and resist the conditioning of the music filling the summer air.

Lesson Learned.

Mother's Who Don't Vaccinate... A Risk?

As mothers, we innately want to protect our children, so concerns are valid. I have been reading literature about vaccinations for the past 10 years. Some suggest that the un-vaccinated children pose a threat to the vaccinated population.

If the vaccine theory was sound, then the unvaccinated children would not pose a threat to the vaccinated population, right? Think about it.

In order to be a threat, the unvaccinated child would have to first come in contact with the disease and have the immune system fail to ward it off. Even if this were to happen… if the vaccination successfully did what it was intended to do (foster immunity towards a specific disease), the vaccinated child should not contract the disease.

This past year a vaccinated child, who sat directly behind my child, contracted whooping cough and hacked directly on my child for days, during the incubation period, before being removed from the classroom environment.

Why did my child not contract the disease?

Why did the vaccinated child contract the disease?

It is hard for me to comprehend why the majority doesn’t think about this paradox. Instead, I think the proactive parent is wrongfully accused of being unmindful of the health risks involved. These parents don’t mindlessly venture into the world of not vaccinating their children. They conduct on-going research and implement lifestyle choices that promote a healthy immune function. They are proactively seeking alternative means to the pestilence occurring in our young children and babies.

It is not my mission to tell people to or not to vaccinate; this is a personal choice between a mother, father, and most likely their physician. However, I do say to educate yourself before entering this (or any) discussion with the physician. Here are some resources on my side of the fence to get you started.

Fisher, B. L. (September-October 2004). In The Wake of Vaccines. Mothering , 38-45.

Kirby, D. (2005). Evidence of Harm, Mercury in Vaccines and the Autism Epidemic: A Medical Controversy. New York: St. Martins Press.

Miller, N. Z. (1998). Immunizations: The People Speak! Questions, Comments, and Concerns About Vaccinations. Sante Fe: New Atlantean Press.

Vacination Risk Awareness Network. http://www.vran.org/

National Vaccine Information Center: http://www.nvic.org/

Frustrations Facing The 'Autism Industry'

I find it difficult to comprehend how service providers can charge an exorbitant amount of money and still sleep well at night. As a parent of a child diagnosed with autism, I have researched many viable treatment modalities and service providers. Many groups advertise through books, websites, and talk shows about how beneficial their products are, but they all come with this high ticket.

More frustrating is the amount of children that go untreated or helped because the ticket is so far out of reach. It can be difficult to sort through who is valid and who is out capitalizing on the unfortunate circumstances of so many.

Many families, like ours, have gone from two incomes to one; struggling just to make ends meet. Others have exhausted all resources including refinancing a home to pay for services; left with no other options. And yet others haven’t survived the enormous stress of having a child with autism and have gone from a family to either separated or divorced; supporting two households.

I have heard some providers even say, “If they value the service they will figure out how to pay for it. Money is never really the issue.” I challenge this! I am aware of numerous valid services for these kids that are out of our financial reach.

For instance, the tuition for a private ABA school specializing in autism that still has a $6k balance due after the autism scholarship is exhausted. What about the DAN (Defeat Autism Now) doctor who is charging hundreds of dollars just to walk through the door and tens of thousands of dollars for tests, lab work, procedures, supplements and therapies… None of which is covered by insurance. What about the waiver wait list that is years long?

It is difficult enough to sort through the acceptance of a diagnosis and the muck of what is available to your child, but then once you arrive there to realize you cannot afford to get your child well... is beyond words. Unfortunately, this is the reality of so many families.

Families need resources and they need them now! Someone needs to become proactive in this shift and advocate for our children in order for them to obtain the services and treatments that are rightfully theirs.