Showing posts with label Home Remedies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Home Remedies. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Keep Sick Kids Out of School



If schools (dictated by the state) didn't enforce strict attendance policies and had better defined truancy policies.....

AND if employers would honor a mother's (or father's) inherent right to take time off with her (his) sick children AS NEEDED....

THEN when a child was ill, the parents would have the freedom to allow their children to stay home as long as it took to get them well.

Therefore, If less kids were sent to school sick (even in the early/late stages of a virus), less kids would get sick and this would save the employers dollars; and student sick days used would organically be lessened too ~ resulting in the district benchmarks being met.

And most importantly our children would be sick less often.

So, School Administrators (including secretaries).... stop making us feel guilty for making the call not to send our children to school when the child is sick or showing signs and symptoms of becoming sick.

Employers..... change your sick leave policies. It is ridiculous to think a parent will only miss 3-5 days a year for themselves AND their children being under the weather. Especially single parents or dual working parent households.

Parents.... take your power back! When your child is sick the single most important thing to that child is a parent's care and presence. Keep your children home when they are sick!! Then other children won't get sick as often!!! And those children wouldn't pass it back to your children!!

A vicious cycle solved.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Dear Autistic Friends... My Gratitude, Frustrations and Empowerment


Dear Adult Autistic Friends,

Thank you for debunking myths about being an autistic adult for me. Sahara (my 7 year old daughter) has gone from catatonic to achieving daily milestones... and I feel hearing your stories and befriending you has helped me set the bar high for this amazing child (when professionals said to institutionalize her).

Traditional therapy and educators didn't instill compassion and empathy in her. Nor did it teach her to strive for self actualization... which she WILL achieve some day. I have done that (along with father and sister.) Together we have worked day and night to see that she have the highest quality of life. Daily we meditate and focus on what our goals are... not the fears and struggles. If we got caught up in all of the woes than we would have little progress.

I have found gifts wrapped around this journey... and each of you have helped me achieve this. Yes, I know there are struggles... anyone who has read this blog knows I understand the raw side of autism. But, what I don't understand is how you set limits on what your autistic child will do 20 years from now. How do I know she won't get married? Or have a fulfilling career? Or travel on speaking engagements about her autism journey?

I don't... like I told the psych, "We don't have a crystal ball".

But, ironically... the extreme opposite is that I also get frustrated when outsiders talk about the gifts of autism... cause they do not know that raw emotional pain we go through and how much harder our kids have to work at seemingly simple things. I get offended by their assumption that they know more about this journey than us.

They do not see how hard I have worked to pull this child out of catatonia... when told we couldn't. How my persistence and attachment parenting taught her compassion, emotion and empathy... when told she couldn't. How we had to scrape pennies to get natural remedies... when they told us they wouldn't work.

I have worked hard at giving her the best chance at a life she so chooses... because she deserves that and so much more. And she has worked even harder to meet all of our demands on her young being.

Yes, like I always say, we have come a long way... but we have even longer way to go. But today I am optimistic that she will be a productive citizen and have all the opportunities her NT sister has. I know she will always see life through different colored glasses, but she is exceptional beyond the label and limitations of autism... as are all of you.

Thank You for your compassion, understanding, encouragement and friendship... it has helped empower me as a mother of a young girl on the spectrum.

~ Alterna-Mom

Friday, May 27, 2011

Why I Blog

Just feeling the need today to re-iterate why I blog...

My blog is a place were I explore my feelings and experiences that occur within the web of my motherhood. It is a safe place where I execute my right to freedom of speech. The beautiful thing about the art of journaling is that by purging words onto a piece of paper (or monitor screen) you release them. In doing so, clarity of a situation, experience or emotion may come forth. In making this journaling experience public, I hope that other parents (especially mothers) can gain wisdom, strength, and a sense of community from my entries.


Monday, April 11, 2011

Still Autism Awareness Month: Your beliefs are important.


It is April 11th and it is still autism awareness month... Are you aware?

When Sahara was just 4 and a half, we were told to prepare to institutionalize her!!

Why?

Because she was catatonic, non-verbal, socially withdrawn, and we were opting to not participate in ABA therapy.

Once we got the confirmation of the label... the denial subsided... and we got to work. It was hard; I will not sugar coat it. I worked 24/7 while trying to make life seem as normal as possible for my whole family.

TODAY she is no longer catatonic, she is a funny, intelligent, determine little girl with potential beyond your comprehension. No, she isn't cured. Yes, she will always have to work a little hard than everyone else. But, we have undeniably made great strides and are well on our way to creating a typical life for her. Typical? What is that anyways?

Never except sub-standards for your child.... your thoughts & beliefs are more important than prognosis from professionals... if you believe she can, she will!!! Sometimes that is all there is to give me strength to go on. I am glad we did it MY way... Sahara will do all of the things that they tried to tell us that she wouldn't... and more!!

Why?

Because her father, her sister and I believe she can... and now we are finding out that so does she. And that belief is what gives us opportunities and empowerment. My expectations are higher than anyones, who better to be her life coach?

This isn't airy-fairy wishful thinking. It takes time, energy, sweat, tears and let's not forget lots of money that never seems to be there... but all of those things are delicately balanced between laughter, joy, hope and unconditional love.

We have come a long way in a mere 2 years... speech, eye contact, parallel play, interactive play, expressive communication, gross and fine motor development... and the catatonia? Gone like the wind.... never to come back.

SAHARA WILL DO OR BECOME ANYTHING SHE DESIRES.

WHY?

BECAUSE SHE HAS THIS FAMILY BEHIND HER....
AND WE SEE POTENTIAL WHEN NO ONE ELSE DOES...

ROCK ON LITTLE GIRL!!!!!!

Friday, April 1, 2011

Autism Awareness Day: In a nutshell


I am a proud mother of 2 daughters; one who is exceptional beyond this label, and the other, a sibling who is just as spectacular. It took us 4 years to get 'professionals' to listen to us bc of gender issues. We are addressing Autism naturally without ABA nor meds... want to know more about autism or how it affects females.... ask me any day not just on this hallmark day!! I have met the most diverse and supportive folks on this journey... to you I am eternally grateful. My husband is supports me and the girls unconditionally on this journey. Autism has strengthened our relationship. We have learned, over tears and triumphs, that Autism isn't the end of dreams, but a beginning of new ones... I have high expectations for both of my children and am busting through the limitations certain 'professionals' put on them. Yes, having autism in our lives sucks at times, but it also is extraordinary. My daughter is incredible and has taught us more than you can imagine. Thank you for sharing this journey with my family.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Everyday Reiki Class for Special Needs Parents & Advocates

I thought I would post an upcoming event I am facilitating. My 'soul' purpose for this class is to empower other parents and advocate with a simple, yet profound tool we have been using daily with our children for the past few years. If you are in central Ohio I hope you can join us.


THIS PRACTICAL CLASS WILL EMPOWER PARENTS & ADVOCATES OF SPECIAL NEEDS CHILDREN TO USE HANDS-ON REIKI FOR EVERYDAY CHALLENGES.



Reiki is a Japanese healing technique that can be performed in a variety of ways promoting ease and relaxation for the participants.

Be prepared to learn what Reiki (energy) is, how to use it and how its application can assist in the daily challenges of the special needs family & classroom.

Other material covered will include how autism and other disorders are related to the CHAKRA SYSTEM and how MEDITATION & the POWER OF INTENTION can dramatically effect our children.

Dress in comfortable clothing and bring a yoga mat or towel to lay on during the hands-on exercises. Refreshments will be available.

WHY I OFFER THIS CLASS:
They say pictures speak a thousand words.... The left pic is my daughter when she was in an autistic state of catatonia (Note the distance in her eyes). The right pic is 4 months later after consistent Reiki/Energy Work.


DISCLAIMER:
Reiki doesn't cure Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADD, ADHD, ODD, PDD-NOS or any other emotional/physical conditions, however by alleviating some of the major energetic stressors in these very sensitive children, overall calming effects can take place without interfering with conventional treatments. In fact, we have found some of the more traditional therapies to be more effective in conjunction with Reiki.

COST:
Cash or a secure payment via paypal... please reference the email: LadySusan@sbcglobal.net

$100
IF you have a medical card or receive county funding, let me know... although I do not accept those funding sources (yet) I will offer you a discounted rate.

ABOUT ME:

Susan E. Richardson, BS ~ Art Therapy, MRC ~ Counseling, Reiki Master

I have a unique background in counseling, holistic wellness and a variety of energy healing modalities. I have been compassionately leading experiential groups and classes for 13 years. I use Reiki daily with my family and have seen miraculous changes in my daughter on that is on the autistic spectrum with consistent Reiki. My goal is to share this information with others so that they may experience similar results.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Book Review: A Course in Weight Loss


A Course in Weight Loss

21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever

By Marianne Williamson



Our body image… or rather our perception of our body image can be fundamental in the development of positive self-imagery within our children and teens. It is vital for us to model not only a positive sense of self, but to work through the emotions, traumas and experiences that might have contributed to our weight gain. This process will unleash the opportunity to mirror to our children solid foundations for a healthy imagery of their own.

I am not suggesting going on a diet and making positive affirmations in the mirror every morning. Besides the concept of a ‘diet’ being a charged utterance triggering emotional responses, ‘diet’ also implies a magic bullet that when combined with unnerving willpower, can get you to your desired weight; leaving you with the faulty expectation that the issue is resolved prompting you to return to your former lifestyle without further action… setting us up for huge disappointment and often failure… only further compacting the psyche of ourselves (and our kids) around body image.

I suggest a new refreshing approach… one that will lovingly persuade you to go introspective into the heart of your real weight issues: Marianne Williamson’s A Course in Weight Loss ~ 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever. This is not a quick fix program. In fact, I venture to say that this program that must be done full-heartedly and precisely as Williamson presents it in order to obtain all of the growth and benefits that it suggests.

Without hesitation, I will firmly adhere to the stance that if you mindfully work through Williamson’s lessons addressing the physical and emotional issues residing within you, you most certainly will obtain true optimum health; a balance of physical, emotional and spiritual expressions of the self … which is really the goal right? And as you obtain this definition of true optimum health, you will be well on your way to your desired weight and physical goals without scales, diets and intense exercise regiments.

In Marianne Williamson’s A Course in Weight Loss, she not only addresses our self image and emotional experiences around our weight, but interlaces a deeper healing tool; 21 spiritual lessons that are intimate to the root of your weight issues. As we heal on this spiritual level, our pain which has been encoded on a cellular level is released. This is when and where true healing takes place.

Like Williamson, I believe that our life experiences can be held in the energetic essence and cells of our bodies which then manifests our physical form. As I explored her 21 spiritual lessons, I found myself facing life experiences that undoubtedly resulted in my weight gain. I inadvertently unveiled parts of me that had been dormant within my core for decades that had originated before being overweight was an issue... in fact, they stemmed from when I was dramatically underweight. All in which most certainly contributed to my current self-image.

You can explore these concepts at your own pace; discovering and growing beyond your weight issues… while uncovering the defenses that have unconsciously masked your pain as unwanted pounds. As you venture through this process you will begin to Remember who you really are… a spiritual being, perfect in the eyes of God and deserving of the ideal body you desire.

At the end of each lesson, Williamson presents a reflection and prayer. I believe this is the where the ultimate transformation really takes place. After the sometimes raw self-exploration is complete, you find yourself sitting in silence mirroring your true self stripped of the labels, expectations, defenses and manifestations of your life circumstances. It is in this moment of the lesson that you embrace the authentic you which allows real change to occur.

As we obtain our ideal weight and heal from our past wounds, we provide our children with healthy self-imagery. And it is in our positive sense of self that we can create within them unlimited opportunities to embrace healthy choices and processing of their life circumstances.


“Marianne Williamson is an internationally acclaimed lecturer and the best-seller author of numerous books. To learn more about her work, and to join her e-mail list for notices regarding her lectures and events, visit her website: www.marianne.com.”


Hay House

Amazon

Barnes & Nobel

Chapters Indigo (Canada)

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Kidney Stone Update...

The CAT scan revealed I had a total of 18 kidney stones.

5 on the right side, ranging 2-4 millimeters.

13 on the left ranging side, 2-8 millimeters.


They blasted the 6 & 8 millimeter ones on the left with sound waves... I have been passing gravel since Ground Hog’s Day.

The remaining ones have to be passed ‘naturally’. Tonight I am in severe pain and am pretty sure that I am passing one of the larger ones on the right. All I can do is drink water since the remaining stones are all 4 millimeters or less. But, do not let that size mislead you... it hurts.

I am perplexed as to how I got so many, and am darn annoyed with how much water I have to drink. All I can do is drink, send Reiki, and try to stay active... activity helps move them. However, tonight I choose to park it on the couch.


Saturday, February 13, 2010

Stoned and Unemployed


My husband was downsized in October. If you haven't heard, the employment front is not a positive outlook these days. Since there are hundreds (literally) applying for the same job, the employers have raised the bar on expectations and credentials. Being able to cherry pick every candidate that is chosen to actually come in through the door for an interview has left many frustrated and dependent on unemployment benefits.

Families, like ours, are struggling across America. Since I currently stay home with the children and head my daughter's treatment for a diagnosis of autism, we have been left without insurance. When Cobra was offered to us it seemed unreasonable, yet alone unattainable when we were going to be surviving on unemployment. Frankly, we hadn't used medical services for ourselves in the past 15 years, so we were not concerned much. We would continue taking care of ourselves as we have and hold out until he found another J-O-B that would offer benefits.... but of course Murphy's Law must rear its ugly head in desperate times...

Eleven days ago I was walking through the house when I suddenly had a sharp pain in my back. I initially thought that it must be a tight muscle from laying on the couch for the past two days with a head-cold.... until I ended up rolling on the bed with pain as intense as back labor pains!! When the words, "Call an ambulance!" flew from my mouth the instant expression on my husband's face said it all. Certainly, if I was asking for medical intervention it must be serious... then I saw the wheels turn and he started to pace, "We have no insurance.... F@#K!!"

...Yes, hundreds of thousands invested into the health care system and we were left facing a crisis with nothing!

As soon as the paramedic saw me, he uttered the dreaded words, "Kidney stones." Being the overachiever that I am, my body tried to rid 3 stones at once with a 6 millimeter one heading the way causing a blockage in my ureter. The CAT scan uncovered that I had another 5 stones in the kidney ranging from 2-8 millimeters.

Two days later I was in surgery, but not after we had to fork up a $5oo deposit to secure our slot on the schedule, "This is the generous self-pay option we offer." Generous for who? Certainly the Hippocratic Oath did not mean much in the private sector. (Did you know that most medical schools do not even require this oath?) Not seeing any other option we paid the money to have the urologist put in a stent to push the stone back into the kidney and to open the kidney and bladder to allow the urine to flow without obstruction.

Several days later the Kidney Stone Center called to pre-register me for Ultrasonic Lithotripsy; the use of high frequency sound waves to pulverize the stones. Of course we had to tell them we didn't have insurance. The pause on the phone followed by the statement, "Oh, you're a self pay... you need to talk with Verina," created a cringe in me. Why was I so embarrassed??? It wasn't like we eagerly volunteered to have my husband downsized in the middle of a suppression nor did we sign up for me to stay home because of the elephant in America's front room called Autism.

The financial advisor reassured me we didn't need the whole $7170 up front.... but, that isn't what was bothering me. It was the thought of accuring another debt and feeling responsible for this financial burden my family was facing. I felt so incredibly guilty... didn't I take care of myself good enough? I had this incredible sense of blame about these darn stones in my kidney...

I still have 2 days to go until the lithotripsy and will have to keep the stent in for an undetermined amount of time to prevent obstruction. Honestly, the various medications that I have been on frighten me more than any of the procedures. Having had a clean system for 15 years, I am sure my body is freaking out about the differing chemicals surging through me. So, I guess I will be doing that liver and/or body cleanse I have been putting off sooner than later.

Of course, I have researched kidney stones, natural cures and the like. The obvious finding is that I should be drinking, yet, even more water than I do. Mineralized water should be drank moderately as it contains calcium. Cranberry juice is another fluid that will help clean out the kidneys.

Some of the recommendations are steps we have already taken to improve our health; reduce sugar, soda, caffeine, alcohol, and refined foods. It is also recommended that you avoid animal byproducts, dairy, cheese and oxalate containing foods (beets, spinach, nuts, black tea, chocolate, beans, and strawberries). Oxlalate foods will be hard for me to eliminate as I love all of the items on the list!

Alternative health options always improve the function of the body, which might be why my body decided to attempt to excrete these stones in the first place. Accupuncture, chiropractic, reflexology, massage, reiki and meditation are all modalities that have reported beneficial health benefits.

For now, I have reduced the meds down to the smallest amount I can tolerate and still have the pain manageable, the children are pretty calm considering they are completely out of their routine and my husband is still holding strong even though I am sure he is on the brink of exhaustion. However, I presume this, too, will pass (no pun intended).








Thursday, October 8, 2009

My Name Is Not Autism!

We have have been excelling in just about every aspect of this thing in our lives called autism; making progress with leaps and bounds. Yes, I know we have a long way to go, but it is in those seemingly small triumphs (like hearing a pronoun escape those lips) that we continue to aim for the monumental finish line. This is a race I not only got roped into without consent, but it is also one I will finish with vigor!

As we propel forward I have changed some of my thinking.... I have stopped saying that my daughter is autistic, instead I say she is diagnosed with autism. See if she is something it is here to stay. She is a girl... She is a sister... She is O-... those things won't change. But, diagnoses and labels can be (and are) removed.

My daughter in not autism, my daughter is experiencing autism.

My agenda is not hidden. My goal is to get my daughter beyond this label. Not for my benefit but hers. I know that will piss some people off. In fact, I know several camps that will claim that is impossible or that this is not all accepting of her. But, I challenge that. As we recover from the toxins that soared through her body as a fetus and infant we start to see glimpses of the Sahara Grace that would have been...

Is it wrong to want to know that child? Is it wrong to yearn for her recovery? Is it wrong to say that I won't stop this fight until the label is gone and she is able to function normally? Is it wrong to yearn to hear her thoughts, dreams and aspirations? Is it wrong to want for her to fit in with her peers without obvious deficits? Is it wrong that I get pissed off that her childhood was stolen from her? ... from her sister?

The answer is simple: no!

It isn't about the label... it is about the stigma, the deficits, the inability to effectively communicate, the lack of peer interaction, the sensitivities that interrupt the seemingly simple daily tasks, the freaking moments she can't tell me what is happening to her when I am not there to protect her...

We will conquer autism. Not because we don't love her for who she is today; that person's attributes are beyond words!! She is an incredible soul with lots of love, humor, wit, and charm. But because we want more for her than the constant feedback, "She is such a sweet child!" or "Isn't she pretty?" Yes, she is sweet and pretty.... but she is more that that. Often people say these things when the autism is in the forefront of her day.

I am sure they think this comforts me and makes me feel better. But, honestly it pushes buttons deep within me. She is more than a sweet child or a pretty girl... she is Sahara Grace, and she has so much she wants to teach the world, so much hidden in this fog that she wants to express, feeling that are bound in her, and accomplishments waiting to be recognized.

She is Sahara Grace... not autism!!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Personal Hygiene... At What Cost?

Since yesterday’s post was about shaving legs and arm pits, I thought it would be appropriate to blog today about Deodorant… Good personal hygiene is an important habit to teach our children, but at what cost?

At some point along our wellness journey, we began to question ingredients in the products we put on our body… and reconsidered how we approached our personal hygiene. For instance, did you know that it only takes a few seconds for anything that touches your skin to be absorbed into the blood stream; aluminum, propylene glycol, parabens...

There has been medical research conducted about breast cancer and aluminum in deodorants. Several sources stated that there was a study conducted that concluded that 18 out of 20 breast cancer tissue samples had parabens in them. With that said, I cannot fathom why more people do not question the common use of these ingredients.

Young girls seem especially vulnerable to me… with their overexposure to hormone laced foods and the seduction of marketers to use these girl products laced with questionable ingredients.

I know, I know… You are thinking, “Oh my God, this tree hugging hippy has stinky arm pits and it going to tell me to embrace my natural self!” Let me reassure you, that is not the case. My point simply is, read the labels and make an educated decision about what you put in and on your body. Be proactive even about what you are putting under your arm pits close to your mammary glands.

We have tried many natural deodorant products, none of which really met our personal hygiene needs. That is until we tried mineral salts and pure water. It is 100% natural and eliminates the bacteria that cause that unseemly odor.

Yep, it really is as simple as that; mineral salts!

No, I am not selling a product nor do I get kickbacks for endorsing this… right now, it is the obvious solution to this issue... Not only does it eliminate odor and avoid questionable ingredients, but it is more economic as well.

*Try Thai Crystal Deodorant or make your own solution.


Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Careful of Body Image... She is Watching

When I met my husband I was 18 years old, 5 foot 9 inches, and 95 pounds (if soaking wet). I never wanted to be as thin as I was… my metabolism just was that of a gerbil’s! In fact, I remember many times attempting to gain weight during high school and I just couldn’t. Many people thought I had an eating disorder, but I didn’t—it really was just the way my body and metabolism worked.

I gained a lot of weight when I was 26 years old after my father passed away; I soothed my grief with food: mashed potatoes, ice cream, chocolate. It wasn’t until years later that I learned Chocolate really did affect the brain. Serotonin, a neurotransmitter commonly known as an antidepressant is triggered by tryptophan which is found in chocolate.

Over the years I have either been either too skinny or too heavy by my own standards. Although, it never amounted into a true eating disorder by definition, it certainly misconstrued how I perceived my body. Now, I admit I am 170 and agonize over the loss of the body I once had.

Today we eat healthy (mostly organic) real foods and trust me I am active… I chase (literally) after kids, do laundry, clean house, go on outdoor excursions, taxi Sahara to and from various therapies & Emily to her extracurricular activities, I climb stairs all day, and never really get a few moments to sit down until the end of the day. At that point, I fall asleep out of pure exhaustion while putting the girls to bed, only to awaken in a few hours because I am worried about the one child who sleep walks and has night terrors and the other who wanders outdoors and is non-verbal.

I am sure that my lack of sleep over the years has contributed to those numbers staring back at me on the scale. I am also sure that I have learned to eat to comfort myself from the pain and worry over having a child diagnosed with autism, the loss of my professional identity, the stress of going from two incomes to one while I stay home with the girls, etc.

I am only 25 pounds away from my ideal weight, but the thing that bothers me the most about all of this isn’t those numbers or my body image... it is the message I have been sending to my approaching tween. I have heard her ask, “am I fat?” and “do I need to lose weight?” Although I will not take complete responsibility for this, I do take some.

I know she quietly sees me looking in the mirror with displeasure and hears me complaining about my outer appearance. She is a product of her mother! But, I also know that the children of today are more consumed with body image than we ever were. They are inundated with magazines and technology showing women that demonstrate perfection…. Let’s face it Sex and Image sells. Britney Spears is a perfect example of a generation x persona that gives a false image to the teens. In more recent times, Miley Cyrus (Hanna Montana) sells ‘sexy’ underwear, makeup, flashy purses and clothing… persuading the tweens and teens to have a certain image.

These young famous girls on the center stage have perfect shapes and complexions… makeup artists, lighting, and computer touch ups make these kids look immaculate. I suppose Barbie is just as bad. When my oldest was little I refused to buy any Barbie dolls for this exact reason. However, when Sahara received a Barbie doll from a kid for her birthday last year… it was over. Let’s face it this plastic personified doll has a perfect body, perfect hair, perfect friends, and a perfect boyfriend, Ken. We are hardwiring our little girls that they need to create this perfect image for themselves.

By the time these young girls are faced with their own emerging bodies, the peers come along… they are influential—regardless of how much we try to stay the primary influence, peers get a hold of our little angels and it is over. (I have found the ones with teenage sisters are the worse.) But, yes, even at 10 years of age, they are commenting about body image and outer body appearance. What is a mother to do?!?!

Firstly, take your own inventory… that is what I had to do. Somewhere along the avenue of mothering my approaching tween, I realized my body perception was influencing hers. I, now, create opportunities for her to see an average woman who is okay with her image. I want her to develop the awareness that it is okay to love yourself as you are and that your self-worth is not contingent on having a certain body image.

Role models start at the top and although we do not remain the primary influence of our young daughters… they are still watching. And if you can be confident in your skin regardless of the brand of clothes you wear, the loss of an 18 year old body, the healthier message they receive about how to perceive themselves.

I am presently 9 months away from my 40th birthday and am making a commitment to get to my ideal weight by that time. Not because I have a distorted body image that needs to be addressed, but more importantly because I want to be healthier and be a better role model for my young daughters. With heart disease and diabetes running rampid on both sides of their family tree, I want them to understand that the more they respect and take care of their body-temple the longer they will have it.


Saturday, August 8, 2009

The Ohio State Fair...A Family Moment!

Every August we venture off to The Ohio State Fair… but let’s face it, this is not the ideal outing for a child with sensory issues. The loud noises, mobs of people, toxic food, and carnies are enough to make a nuerotypical person get on edge… but throw autism, specialized diets, and language deficits into the mix and you may just have a recipe for disaster.

But, not this year… maybe we are better equipped with preparing her for such an outing with deep pressure stimulation, packed snacks, sharing social stories based on what to expect, and of course allowing the girls to feel in control of the day. Maybe… it was because there were less people in attendance on this day, no lines for rides, and a breeze to take the edge off of the summer heat. Or maybe…. she is getting well and better able to handle the stimulation. I suppose it was most likely a combination of all of these factors.

Regardless, this year’s visit to the fair was our best to date; laughter, companionship, and good ol’ fashion fun.

This year we were able to ride on more rides… partly because she is older, partly because she found them either soothing or exhilarating and mostly because she didn’t attempt to crawl out of the flimsy seatbelts. Of course, after the 4th time of climbing the 166 steps to get to the top of the ‘big yellow slide’, I realized nothing was going to stop this kid or her sister. That is probably when we realized that our girls were capable of accompanying each other on the rides… allowing mommy and daddy to stand off to the side basking in the joy of their children sharing a moment of sisterhood.

Let’s not forget about the animals… which they both indulged; especially at the birthing center. (Yes, the young twin lambs even won my heart.) At one moment Sahara was completely captured by Elsie the Borden’s Butter Cow. Every time she rubbed Elsie’s head, Elsie would moo loudly. The timing was impeccable and gave Sahara the conclusion that Elsie’s moo was caused by the effect of her rubbing her—another moment of cognitive clarity that made me smile.

Daddy took Emily over to the adult rides and she got to experience her first rollercoaster… I am certain this fed her need for excitement and her never ending need for sensory input as well. When they returned she had a smile larger than life. I am sure they had a father-daughter moment that she would retain in the recess of her childhood memories.

While they were off having this moment together, I had a moment of my own… on the carrousel mounted on my own horse (another milestone achieved) I looked over and saw a 5 year old enjoying an age appropriate activity and saw a glimpse of her normalcy. Reclaiming her childhood has been one focus of ours, and The Ohio State Fair allowed us to see our hard work pay off!

Home

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

5 Years Ago I Gave Birth To My Sunshine Girl!

As Sahara's birthday quickly approaches I find myself thinking about her birth. I can't believe it has been five years since my baby was born... where has the time gone? Anyways, in order to avoid my thoughts turning to how old I am getting I have decided to post a small excerpt from The Mother Consciousness about this birth experience....

"...Five days after my due date, we had the luxury of calling the midwives into the comfort of our home. I had been asleep for a couple of hours when I was awakened with the sensation to urinate. When I returned to bed I lay quietly next to my sleeping daughter. Focused on the tightening of my belly, I wondered if this was the beginning of true labor. When labor began with my first pregnancy it was obvious; my water broke and stage two labor contractions were upon me. This time I didn’t feel much urgency and birthing in the comfort of our home I was in no rush to go anywhere.

"When my husband heard me making a soft low pitched groan he decided he should call the midwives. He said he had only heard that sound once before and that was right before our first daughter was birthed. I was still unsure I was in labor even as the mid-wives arrived with my daughter yelling out the window, “Mommy’s having the baby! Mommy’s having the baby!” She jumped back into bed with excitement and I soon found myself, again, concentrating on the colors of the rainbow. I was birthing our second daughter in the comfort of my own bed just two hours and 50 minutes after I had awakened to go to the bathroom. With my husband on one side of me and my daughter on the other—this was surely a family moment to be cherished for eternity.

"In the quiet of the night we bonded with our newest family member. When my older daughter assisted the midwives in cutting the umbilical cord she joyfully declared, “Sister, I am making your belly button.” I then showered as she helped the midwives make the bed and dress her new baby sister. After the midwives packed up and left, my new family of four drifted off to an entire night of peaceful sleep. "

Happy Early Birthday, Sunshine Girl!!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Barefoot and Naked... Is There Another Solution To Those Seams?!?!

We spontaneously ended up at a Metro Park this morning. We had breakfast at the lake while we watched the molting geese. Within minutes Sahara sat in water and was walking about in her underwear. Honestly, I was relieved that I convinced her to leave them on, but Emily was embarrassed… "It is okay," I reassured her, "I have another pair of dry shorts in the jeep. Let’s walk back to the jeep, change her, then we can go on a hike."

Crisis resolved.

Soon we found ourselves on a 1.7 mile nature trail. We were enveloped by nature and I have to admit it felt liberating! Emily was eager to declare that she thought she saw a deer everywhere she looked. I am not so sure she saw even one the whole way, but she will adamantly deny that. Sahara wanted to pick up every stick and smack every leaf with it. Emily tried to rush her sister, "Come on! Look it’s beautiful!" I am certain she didn't mean anything in particular, but it successfully motivated Sahara ahead another 20 feet before another stick caught her attention.

As she bent over to pick it up, she suddenly plopped down on the dirt path to pull at her sneakers, "Sahara, our shoes need to stay on if we are going for a walk." She huffed and puffed, stood up, and took another few steps before she sat down and tried to get them off again. "Sahara, our shoes and socks need to stay on if we are going for a walk."

Emily thought she heard a baby deer and went running to the observation deck. Sahara and I followed, but by the time we got there Emily was ready to head back up the nature trail. Sahara stopped, sat on the bench, and had her socks and shoes off before I could intervene this time. I convinced her to put the socks back on inside out. I was hoping the seams being off of her toes would put her at ease.

Another mile to go….

I had to place my hand on Sahara’s back to keep her moving, but it was maybe another several yards before the socks and shoes were off again. I persuaded her to put back on her shoes; the socks ended up in my backpack. This lasted for a bit, then the shoes were off again and she was on my shoulders for the last 1/2 mile.

After an hour and a half we found our way back to the jeep and made it home safely. As I reflect, I am grateful that we could connect with nature without incident. But, I also am acutely aware that the whole sock and shoe issues disrupted the flow of the hike. Having a child who experiences sensory issues brings all sorts of challenges.

Certainly, fuzzy socks and rough seams go unnoticed by many. But, for a child with sensory issues, it is like sandpaper on your toes or your unmentionables. (Can you imagine?) Most days, regardless of the time of year, my daughter is barefoot and naked in order to be comfortable. We have, however, recently discovered that she will wear a dress without underwear and that seems to have adverted the whole unmentionables issue (for now).

I have, also, recently connected with a company, SmartKnitKIDS, on twitter that make seamless socks. I have to admit I haven’t tried them yet, but plan to place an order after we move. (I don’t want something that precious to get lost in the mail.) SmartKnitKIDS also just let me know that are working on a prototype for underwear. I have to admit that I have never been so excited about ordering underwear and socks!

If any of my readers have tried SmartKnitKIDS products please let me know your experience. I look forward to ordering both products in the near future and will be certain to write a product review. In the meantime, I am excited about the potential that Sahara may be able to wear these necessary clothing items with freedom from the inevitable seams that interfere with her daily activities!!

(PSST…they are offering a Back To School Contest you might be interested in. )
 
 

Narration Inspires Speech

In May I fired our speech therapist for numerous reasons... one of them being that she told me that I enabled Sahara too much and that she wouldn't be talking by the age of 8.

So, with no speech therapist— we enter the summer with two paths to choose from—one was to be paralyzed with fear of losing the little speech we had while the other was to see this as an opportunity to be innovative with natural speech development. Being a ‘glass half full’ kind of mom I decided to embrace the opportunity.

Our new found freedom allowed us to venture wherever and whenever we wanted... but no matter where we ended up we found that there was always an opportunity for natural speech and communication.

We spent 2 months playing and enjoying summer while waiting for a speech evaluation through Children’s hospital. The assessment revealed that Sahara had receptive speech of a 24 month old and expressive speech of an 18 month old. (Note: Sahara will be 60 months (5 years old) on Sunday.) For some this news might be devastating, but not for me.

Instead, we continued to work on labeling everyday objects, comparing pictures, answering WH questions, yes/no questions, and following simple 1 – 2 step directions throughout our adventures and daily activities.

The opportunity for speech expression exists in every activity of daily living; and no opportunity went wasted. Sometimes I found myself mindlessly narrating my day, "I am cutting an onion with a sharp knife, I am putting the chopped onion in the salad bowl. The salad looks colorful… I see red tomatoes, green peppers, purple onions; oh there is a cucumber with seeds. Who’s that? Daddy is home. I missed daddy. Do you think daddy wants salad? I am setting the table. Should we eat our salad in a bowl or on a plate? How many plates do we need? One, two, three, four... there are four people here so we need four plates. Do we eat salad with a spoon or a fork?" Etc…

Narration has become second nature to me. With this constant input I have noticed an increase in her vocabulary and spontaneous speech. I was thrilled, but not surprised to hear Sahara said 13 'phrases' during a 45 minutes session with her new Speech therapist yesterday. Not words… phrases!

I want more bubbles, please.
The cat says meow.
No, doll house.
You’re welcome.
Oh no! It’s dark!
No shoes on.
I want mommy.
My nametag, please.
No no, yucky.
I eat apple on apple tree.
All done, nametag.
Want duck, please.
Moo, quack quack, woof woof, neigh neigh, bahh.

I expect that by the age of 8 she will not be wordless, but having conversations. I look forward to uncovering the things I long to learn about her... like, what she is thinking about when she looks up at the ceiling or what her favorite color is or how she wants her room decorated.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The Ultimate Gift For Dad

We went to Grandma’s house for a week… the children had a blast splashing in the pool, playing with Grandma, visiting the Zoo, and even going on an African Safari complete with hand feeding buffalo, giraffe, monkeys, camels, and more.

But, truth be known, it was Daddy’s Father’s Day present; a whole week to himself to do whatever he pleased… What filled his spare time didn’t concern me; I trusted him explicitly to appropriately utilize this heartfelt gift to whatever he deemed necessary to fill his spirit.

What did matter… was that he was able to step away from the daily responsibilities of juggling a family, a demanding career, and the many struggles a man faces when his child experiences autism.

He didn’t have to listen to, "When are you coming home?" a thousand times because I was so exhausted from the demands of the day and needed relief. When those 4:45 calls start… he knows he will have to jump out of the role of professional right into the role of daddy just so I could go lay on the bathroom floor for 10 brief minutes to recharge my own batteries.

He didn’t have to attend to my technical incompetence after he just spent a day at the office listening to a bunch of whining adults about their technical woes. I am sure all week he had a sense of relief when he came in through the door knowing he wasn’t going to have to trouble shoot why my outlook address book wasn’t syncing with my mailbox or why I couldn’t print the Webkinz adoption certificates.

We were tempted to get him a shirt instead that stated, "No I won’t fix your computer!" … somehow a week off seemed more appealing to his nature.

I am sure he indulged in a few cigars and drank a High Ball (whiskey and 7-up) while listening to nothing... quietness, I am sure, enveloped him. Certainly, this was a foreign sound from the ten years of child driven noises and 21 years with a woman who loves to talk. I am sure he basked in this delight!

(Yes, I suppose I am a bit jealous… but, I’ll get over it.)

I am just as certain that it was not all pleasure. I know my husband and know that in the recess of his mind he still worried about whether or not the therapy and doctor bills were paid… Whether or not our child was getting enough nutrition and the appropriate services… Whether or not he would ever be able to hold a meaningful conversation with his daughter… Whether or not the girls would be provided for if we were to die... Maybe, he even contemplated whether or not it would be easier on him if he left us (like in 85% of marriages that are faced with autism).

But, I am comforted that by Sunday morning he emailed me saying, "I miss my 3 women! When did you say you were coming home?"

I learned that by the time Sunday night arrived he desperately missed us. I suppose I am reassured that he found himself yearning to rummage around for Red Bear so Emily could sleep and that he missed the nonstop chatter of Sahara having to recite an entire scene from Shark Tales before she could nestle down for the night. I am glad that the house at times was too quiet for him.

I have come to terms that there are moments that seem so hard and painful in the world of autism that it seems easier to run away … but that is why each of us need this type of break now and then, to not only recharge our batteries, but to shatter this illusion and acknowledge that the grass is perfect on this side of the spectrum.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

My Opposition To The Ice Cream Truck

It wasn’t long after becoming a mother that I decided that the ice cream truck was something to be avoided. But of course, ten years ago my reasoning was different than the motivation of today.

Back then I couldn’t comprehend, (well, I still can’t comprehend this one) how it seemed to be a good idea to have a complete stranger driving through neighborhoods with tantalizing music trying to lure children to his truck with treats. This concept went against the very grain I try to teach my children.

We do not approach strangers.

We do not accept candy or treats from strangers.

We do not walk up to a vehicle of a stranger.

Just yesterday we were driving through a neighborhood and my oldest daughter said with contempt in her voice, “What is that?!?!” Her dad tried to explain that someone had taken their personal black van and put stickers on it, wired speakers to the roof, and was portraying himself as the ice cream truck. Her face expression was all we needed as a cue that she understood that this was not deemed appropriate.

Now of course, he did not have the window on the side of his van, but he left the sliding door open and was leaning out the door taking orders. I couldn’t believe parents were permitting their children to approach this vehicle! Now, I only remember one news story about child abduction and the ice cream truck, but I presume that is one story too many.

The music that permeates from these vehicles turn our children into screaming tyrants demonstrating the Pavlov wasn’t wrong about his theory of conditioning. However, I successfully convinced my first born that this was a music truck bringing us joy to our ears. I also was able to explain to her that it was never okay to approach strangers in this type of vehicle or any vehicle to that matter.

For six beautiful years, each and every summer she would inform me that the music truck was coming through the neighborhood. But, she didn’t go running to my purse, begging me for some unforeseen treat. Instead, we would sit on the couch and hum the familiar tune.

It was her sixth summer when a neighbor kid let the cat out of the bag. She wasn’t mad though, but curiosity did get the best of her… so we begrudgingly went on our first ice cream truck adventure. After a couple of bites, she retorted, “This doesn’t taste very good.”

YES!

She was saved by her own common sense. So we went through the next several years with no interest from the music turned ice cream truck.

That was until this past weekend when the mother next door came running over to our house to get her child. Then she, too, apparently conditioned by the Pavlovian “It’s A Small World After All…” music, went running down the street flagging this truck to stop in front of our house.

My husband just looked at me as I shrugged my shoulders… I decided in order to not look like the hysterical mother of the neighborhood to invite my children to meet the neighbor’s at the foot of our drive way. However, up until this moment my now youngest did not even give a notice to this truck.

After 5 minutes of rude grunts and groans from the woman and man in the back of the van (we were obviously taking too much of their precious time), the kids had decided— I cringed as my older daughter picked the multi-colored rainbow snow cone and her sister pointed to the ice cream sandwich.

Luckily, once the wrapper came of the over-priced ice cream sandwich, she looked at it, scrunched up her nose at the lifeless attempt of food, set it down, and retreated to the freezer to get some rice ice cream.

ANOTHER VICTORY!

But my other daughter ate the whole snow cone.

We decided to serve watermelon a little later, since watermelon is known to naturally contain high amounts of vitamin C and A as well as loads of natural carotenoid antioxidants. Antioxidants enter the body and attack free radicals, allowing the body to be cleansed.

Soon after she consumed the watermelon, she retreated to the back sun deck. I went out to see if she was okay. She looked pale, her eyes had dark circles under them, and she was clammy. I asked how she felt and she said “nauseous”.

I am sure we were seeing the body trying to rid toxic chemical levels from that snow cone that was drenched in artificial colors, dye, high fructose corn syrup and preservatives. Her body isn’t used to that non-food crap and was trying to purge it.

She never threw up, but did go to sleep and woke up feeling better. I suppose we learned that the choices of treats that mom puts in the freezer are much more compatible with the human body. Artificial crap is neither nutritious nor safe for the body!

In the future, we will resort to the freezer filled with the real food that our body’s desire and resist the conditioning of the music filling the summer air.

Lesson Learned.

Friday, May 29, 2009

20 Random Things That Bring Me Pleasure





1. Warm Cherry Tomatoes Straight from the Vine

2. My Children’s Laughter

3. Tender Kisses on my Neck

4. Yoga

5. The Aroma of my Mother’s Cooking

6. Rain on a Summer Afternoon

7. Mashed Potatoes Drowning in Gravy

8. Sitting on a Dock With my Feet Dangling in the Water

9. Lilacs

10. Chocolate

11. Black and White Photography

12. Hot Soup On a Chilly Day

13. Driving with the Windows Down

14. Sitting Under a Shady Tree

15. Children’s Art

16. Late Night Talks in the Moonlight

17. Walking Through an old Cemetery

18. Watching my Children Sleep

19. Memories of my Father

20. Foot Massages

Saturday, May 23, 2009

A Year of Leap and Bounds

As the yellow school bus pulled up, I felt a surge of excitement… I couldn’t contain my childish smile!

All day I wondered if Sahara would get that it was her last day of school for summer break... Or would she wake up on Tuesday wondering why we were out of routine? As the bus neared, I could see this smiling little face peering through the bottom of the 3rd window back; a spark was in her eye and she appeared to be rambling on about something that she probably only understood.

As the bus came to a screechy stop, I swear my heart skipped a beat…. Summer was here! My girl exited the bus bare foot and ready for our summer adventures. She turned to the bus driver and aid to say, “Ba-Bye…. summer”.

YES, SHE KNEW IT!!!

We skipped across the yard to the house without any worries of the week to burden us. Once inside she dumped her red backpack and carefully went through each item; sharing memories of a year of huge milestones, growth, and companionship.

This year she was able to make her first meaningful friendships with her little classmates, Ray and Addie. They were true friends as friends should be complete with purposeful play & interaction, consoling of boo-boos, and the excitement of seeing one another tomorrow. I am so pleased that she can experience the satisfaction of having true social interactions – that alone will inspire the natural desire and shift to want more of the same.

This was a year of leap and bounds not only socially, but academically as well—She had learned to print letters and write her name; sing her ABC’s as well as other songs; match colors, shapes, and animals; follow routines, participate in circle time, art, occupational and speech therapy activities,; all of her goals on her IEP had been met or close to it! She had worked hard and we have seen the fabulous outcomes for it….

I say ‘she’ because the teachers, therapists, and I had given her the space and guidance to blossom while she did all of the work. Yes, I give kudos to myself and the staff; each of us offering our unique skills and patience… but it was Sahara who demonstrated her determination to succeed. I hope inside she recognizes that her efforts and willingness to enter our world are acknowledged and seen as astounding!

I am sure that there are children who do not have the support to come out of their perceived fog… I suppose it is easier for some parents just to turn on the TV and let their child be consumed by the electronic babysitter… Or some teachers who lose sight of the quite child playing quietly in the corner…Maybe the green therapists who just don’t have the skills yet to know what to do with the ‘child that is hard to crack’. But Sahara was (and is) fortunate, she didn’t have those obstacles at home or in this school setting.

Sahara has learned naturally how to begin to foster relationships and develop cognitively. This summer will be full of adventures and learning. Integrating what she has learned this year within her natural home setting will only foster further growth.

So, as we sat there with purple hands and bare feet, I realized that it wouldn’t be long before we were able to remove the labels that some have insistently placed upon this bright little girl. I look forward to that moment about as much (probably more) than waiting for the yellow bus to arrive bringing us summer.