Do you Support Females on the Autism Spectrum? I DO!!

Every morning for the past 11 days I have been reminding my online friends to vote for the Pepsi refresh Project. Specifically, I have asked them to support The Autism Women’s Network to win a $50,000 grant to fund AWN’S PROJECT FAIM (Female Autistic Insight Mentoring) which will host workshops across the USA.

Why is that so important to me?

…Simply, because I have a six year old daughter on the autism spectrum. Really I think that is enough of a reason, don’t you?

Before autism was intimately in my life, I had a fairy tale version of what my life would look like in my head. Yeah, I believe there may have even been a white picket fence in that dream. Silly Me!

When I started noticing (as early as 5 months of age) that my daughter wasn’t developing typically I went through the whole range of emotions… denial, anger, blame – you name it, it was there. Eventually after oceans of tears, I was able to move into a place of acceptance and even gratitude.

Autism HAS blessed my life with friends, opportunities and self growth that would have other wised failed to exist. But, that is my life… it is full of optimism. But, then I hesitate and think about my daughter's future… what will that look like? Will she dream of white picket fences?

Hold the breaks Mom… she is only six!!

Yes, I know, but I don’t think any differently about her life than I do about her neuro-typical sister’s. And with her sister in the middle of the tween-age years I am filled with more questions than answers:

Self esteem ~ Boys ~ Hygiene ~ Dating ~ Peer Pressure ~ Accountability ~ Respect for Self and Others ~ Hormones ~ Friends ~ Academics ~ Body Image ~ Sibling Rivalry ~ Drugs & Alcohol ~ Safe Sex ~ Female Empowerment ~ Communication

And as I am faced with these new issues with her sister, I cannot help but to wonder how I will address this with her. These issues are huge, but couple them with the challenges of autism...

Sensory Processing Issues ~ Communication Barriers ~ Environmental and Dietary Sensitivities ~ Discrimination ~ Physical Limitations ~ Emotional Imbalances ~ Vulnerabilities ~ Stemming ~ Pictorial Thinking ~ Facial Cue Integration ~ Socialization Challenges ~ Cognitive Delays

... and it can be overwhelming. How do I educate her? How do I promote safety? How will she develop self esteem and confidence?

Today she seems to have no awareness of most of these things… she lives for the moment, but that doesn’t mean I don’t prepare myself and become proactive in the female issues that she will eventually face.

I can even let my mind wander about her adult future and what that will look like and what challenges she may or may not endure … And I wonder how does being a female autistic impact these issues for her? How will she get the support she needs to be successful in whatever SHE chooses to do with her life? How will she become an empowered woman when she faces obvious challenges? How will she access the resources she needs for life skills?

College ~ Independent Living ~ Career ~ Marriage ~ Family ~ Childbirth ~ Motherhood ~ Abuse ~ Sexuality ~ Relationships ~ Rape ~ Civil Rights ~ Finances

Raising a daughter has its challenges… add autism to it and it becomes even more challenging.

I am perfectly capable of rising to this challenge… but that doesn’t mean I don’t reach out for supports and education. To me that is what the FAIM project is doing. My daughter does have some empowered Autistic Women on her side, advocating for her and it is through their experience that I embrace hope and yes even excitement about her future.

AWN through their FAIM project will visit 5 US cities to provide “effective supports to autistic females of all ages through sense of community, advocacy, and resources.” This is something our community needs… by community I mean the Female Autistic Community. As a mother to a female child on the autism spectrum, I believe that is my community too. And in my corner of the world we respect, support and encourage members of our community. So... having said that, I am asking all of my friends to support AWN with there vision.

Here is a list of things that this grant will provide (taken directly from the Pepsi Refresh Project Page)…

The Autism Women's Network is unique in that it was founded by women on the autism spectrum. Our mission is to provide effective supports to autistic females of all ages through a sense of community, advocacy, and resources.

· AWN's Project FAIM (Female Autistic Insight Mentoring) workshops will be the 1st of its kind.

· We plan to set up 5 Project FAIM Workshops across the USA which will focus on qualities specific to females on the autism spectrum. Topics will include: peer supports, adolescence, adult life, relationships, vulnerabilities and successful communications. Project FAIM Workshops will include active supports and information for everyone (autistics, parents, educators, etc.)

· The participants will meet renowned autistic females whereby gaining valuable insight.

· We will secure the Autism Women's Network non-profit status so we can continue to provide Community Events, online Forum support & E-Mentoring as well as our AWN Radio Show.

I believe that this grant will start a ripple effect that is needed among the female autistic population. So

, I invite you to vote for The Autism Women’s Network to win a $50,000 grant to fund AWN’S PROJECT FAIM (Female Autistic Insight Mentoring) daily until the end of this month, August 31, 2010.

One of Those Days... WTF?!?!?

So it was a rough weekend... PMS and all!!

The firework show was a bust and stimming was at an all time high in our corner of the world. We didn't make it to bed until 11:30 last night, then the new kitten woke the girls and me up at 5:00am!! It was bound to be a rough day.

The music therapist cancelled at the last minute... but, I understood... her hubby was home for the holiday and she wanted to spend the morning with him and her son. With the continued stimming and agitation this morning I am certain not much would have been accomplished anyways. So I was happy to reschedule for tomorrow morning.

All morning I reminded Sahara of the agenda of the morning that seemed to last forever... Relax, Get dressed, Brush teeth, OT, Speech, Lunch... If you don't know much about autism, routine is important to many of these kids (and adults).

So, when we pulled up to the Children's Close to home and the parking lot seemed much too empty on a Monday morning... I got a little nervous. I told Sahara to wait. Being parked right in front of the main door I was able to quickly jump out of the jeep to check the front door. It was open... whew!!

I nodded at Sahara; she took off her seat belt as I grabbed my laptop and book (Eclipse) from the passenger front seat. Sahara must have have been anticipating OT as much as I... instead of running down the sidewalk she walked right into the building and sat down in the empty lobby. I said to the subbing receptionist, "Sahara is here to see [J] for OT, then [C] for Speech."

I wasn't prepared for the response, "Oh, they aren't here today."

"What!?!?"

"I am sorry, the lab and x-rays are only seeing people today," she sheepishly replied.

"I specifically asked [C] and [J] 2 weeks ago if we had therapy today and they both said 'yes'!!"

Avoiding all eye contact she said, "I am sorry you will have to talk to them about that."

I expressed that I was upset because I not only asked one therapist, but two!! if we had therapy today and was told "yes" we did. I continued that I thought this was inappropriate for therapists who supposedly specialize in autism... certainly they should know the importance of routine for these kids on the spectrum. I didn't get a response to that...

The lobby was eerily quiet... I approach Sahara and try my best to explain why we had to leave right away. The look in her eyes said it all... no comprehension!! Instantly I am pissed, "I expect more professionalism than this from Children's Hospital!!," I snap.

I know it was not this green receptionist's fault... but I was so upset. My child was pulling away from my hand and running through the lobby clearly not comprehending why her mean mother was trying to force her to leave when we had just arrived here.

Maybe the sting was worse because we so desperately needed the platform swing today, maybe because I was looking forward to consulting with the SLP about creating a picture schedule for the summer or maybe, just maybe, because in the recess of my mind I remembered that last sting I got from the SLP.

She was explaining to me how she is going to work in the Down Syndrome Clinic, "You don't know what it is like to work with autistic children all day... "

I must not have held a good poker face because she failed miserably at saving face, "I mean, you get to go home after your appointment, I have to stay here all day, day after day. Autistic kids are hard to work with"

WTF?!?!

Where did she think I went after our appointment???? I am just really annoyed with therapists, doctors and other so-called professionals who haven't a clue what a parent of a child diagnosed with autism goes through. I can garuntee you that their degrees and experience have little comparison to the expertise us mothers and fathers on the front line have. How dare she imply that her JOB was more difficult.

I wasn't surprised when I got home to find a voice mail from the SLP on my answering machine. However, she stated that she had arrived to work and was told to go home because it is a holiday; they won't pay overtime. This doesn't add up to me as I know that she works 12 hour shifts on Mondays, so if she had arrived to work it would have been at 7:00 am not 10:30... a half hour prior to our appointment and a half hour after I reamed the receptionist.

So much for my hubby's relaxing day off with the family. After I vented, we have spent most of the day refereeing between the girls and consoling Sahara in her many many melt downs. In addition, Emily had a low grade fever and was grumpy; I was PMSing; and my dear hubby was ready to crawl under a rock.

Here's to a better day tomorrow...

Personal Hygiene... At What Cost?

Since yesterday’s post was about shaving legs and arm pits, I thought it would be appropriate to blog today about Deodorant… Good personal hygiene is an important habit to teach our children, but at what cost?

At some point along our wellness journey, we began to question ingredients in the products we put on our body… and reconsidered how we approached our personal hygiene. For instance, did you know that it only takes a few seconds for anything that touches your skin to be absorbed into the blood stream; aluminum, propylene glycol, parabens...

There has been medical research conducted about breast cancer and aluminum in deodorants. Several sources stated that there was a study conducted that concluded that 18 out of 20 breast cancer tissue samples had parabens in them. With that said, I cannot fathom why more people do not question the common use of these ingredients.

Young girls seem especially vulnerable to me… with their overexposure to hormone laced foods and the seduction of marketers to use these girl products laced with questionable ingredients.

I know, I know… You are thinking, “Oh my God, this tree hugging hippy has stinky arm pits and it going to tell me to embrace my natural self!” Let me reassure you, that is not the case. My point simply is, read the labels and make an educated decision about what you put in and on your body. Be proactive even about what you are putting under your arm pits close to your mammary glands.

We have tried many natural deodorant products, none of which really met our personal hygiene needs. That is until we tried mineral salts and pure water. It is 100% natural and eliminates the bacteria that cause that unseemly odor.

Yep, it really is as simple as that; mineral salts!

No, I am not selling a product nor do I get kickbacks for endorsing this… right now, it is the obvious solution to this issue... Not only does it eliminate odor and avoid questionable ingredients, but it is more economic as well.

*Try Thai Crystal Deodorant or make your own solution.

My Maternal Voice Saved My Daughter's Life

Every June, as I prepare birthday invitations, I pause and offer gratitude for finding my maternal voice. This innate response saved my daughters life.... (excerpt from The Mother Consciousness)

...Then sure enough, just four days later, we were told by our obstetrician the crushing news that there was no fetus in the embryonic sac. He ordered blood work to be done and said, “We should see the hormone levels go down over the next week.” We were devastated. My dreams of becoming a mother were about to be fulfilled and then, once again, stolen from me! The days that followed were long and full of grief.

At our next appointment the obstetrician said what we had feared the most—the hormone levels had decreased by more than 3000 and that reflected a miscarriage. As if trying to comfort us he said, “Most pregnancies end this way and the parents never even knew that they were pregnant.” He continued, “This is the body’s way of getting rid of a fetus that was not healthy to begin with or malformed.”

He then lectured about doing a D&C versus allowing the body to naturally abort the pregnancy. As my husband and I looked at each other, we could tell this was a routine lecture he had given to many patients before us.

[Somewhere in the depths of my existence I had my first maternal instinct whisper to me, “What if he is wrong?” This split second thought would change my life forever!]

It was in that moment that I had found myself outwardly questioning the authority that I had blindly accepted as my truth the first two decades of my life. It was in this flash of time that I considered that this doctor and his tests could be wrong. With my husband at my side, I sheepishly said, “What if you’re wrong?”

Quick glances were exchanged between the doctor and the nurse, “Mrs. Richardson, I know this must be difficult…” He talked about being a Christian and how he would never recommend a D&C without just cause. There he stood telling us about his stance on abortion and how he would not recommend this procedure unless he was absolutely 100 percent certain that the pregnancy had already been terminated.

[Could the ancestral mothers have been listening to my silent cries for a miracle? Did I feel their wisdom in my cells or hear them in the recess of my mind?]

My husband supported my outward questioning of this doctor’s authority by firmly requesting another ultrasound. As they begrudgingly prepared for the procedure, I laid there, once again in the cold blue crinkled paper gown, in profound silence. I held my breath as we stared at the screen. My husband stood by my side caressing my hand. Minutes seemed to be suspended in time.

Then suddenly, there was a rhythmic movement in the middle of the screen within the very sac that just a week ago appeared empty. Stunned—we watched our daughter’s heart beat for the first time. Again, more quick glances were passed around the room as I let go of my breath. The doctor quickly said, “I guess I will see you in a month.” He abruptly left the room with no apology or explanation regarding the agonizing experience we had just painstakingly endured.

(My Daughter will celebrate her 10th birthday next weekend! Happy Birthday Angel-Girl!)

Hormone Imbalance & Menopause Through The Eyes of Today and Yesterday

In native cultures menopause tends to be a cause for quiet celebration, a time when a woman has completed her childbearing years and is moving into a deeper level of self-discovery and spiritual awareness.

She is becoming a wise old woman.

In these cultures menopausal women are looked up to and revered. They are sought out for advice and their opinions are heavily weighted in the decision-making process of the community.

How strange that sounds to us!

In our culture menopause is seen as the end of a woman’s sexuality, a descent into a dried-up and painful old age of arthritis and osteoporosis. It is the stage of our life thatis accepted without reason as a time of hot flashes, mood swings and pain.

How did this experience of menopause come to be?

I am not sure when this shift took place. Certainly our grandmother’s grandmothers did not expect their elder years to be full of pain and suffering. They experienced their late years with reverence like the women of native cultures.

Let’s explore several factors that may be contributing to this experience…

What we eat… Estrogen is a growth hormone in the meat and dairy we consume today. Farmers feed animals estrogen so they Grow more quickly, then they have a higher value to sell.

What they ate… Hormone free, free ranged animals that were minimally processed (probably with real salt). They ate fresh fruits and vegetables that they grew naturally on family farms.

How we manage our hormones… Now more than ever we are seeing young girls and women using hormone therapy. We use synthetic hormones, birth control, and hormone replacement therapy.

Their management of hormones… They didn’t experience the detriments of the menopause of today, their hormones weren’t off centered. Most likely they were consuming foods and herbs that nurtured their hormone chemistry. They, also, used extended breastfeeding as a means to birth control.

Through our lifestyles… American women lead the world in stress levels. Today we experience more societal expectations than ever before while placing pressure onto ourselves. Many women today are stressed out while trying to balance family and career. When we experience stress, our adrenal glands kick into overdrive and trigger cortisol—our bodies use progesterone to make the cortisol. Most women by age 35 either no longer have progesterone or have really low levels. Stress is not healthy!

Their lifestyles… Our distant ancestors wore their children as they foraged for food integrating work and home life together. Our grandmothers worked in the family home, while the men harvested the farms. We didn’t have the pressures of today’s society pushing mothers out of the home to make ends meet.

Over exposure to Petra-chemicals… Because we live in the society we live in we are constantly exposed to petra-chemicals which bind to the estrogen receptor. Petra-chemicals are considered false estrogen; fungicides, herbicides, fertilizers, pesticides, cleansers, dry cleaning chemicals, plastics, mineral oil… These chemicals are everywhere—this is not good. These chemicals are stored in fat tissue. (American women lead in the whole world (1 in 7) in breast cancer.)

Their use of petra-chemicals… Most petra-chemicals were created in the advent of industrialization. Our ancestors used natural means to harvest their foods, to cleanse their clothes, and cook their meals.

I suggest that some of the answers to our hormonal and menopausal woes are in the manner in which we live, eat and work. For more information on natural hormone balance check these resources out:

1. http://www.hormonebalance.org/
2. http://www.johnleemd.com/
3. http://www.salivatest.com/
4. A book titled Menopause and the Mind explains how people need progesterone more than any anti-depressant drug. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0684854791/sr=1-1/qid=1156307044/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-0399367-7450367?ie=UTF8&s=books
5. What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Premenopause: Balance Your Hormones and Your Life From Thirty to Fifty. Dr. John R. Lee, M.D., et al
6. What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Menopause: The Breakthrough Book on Natural Progesterone. Dr. John R. Lee, M.D., Virginia Hopkins
7. The Estrogen Alternative: Natural Hormone Therapy with Botanical Progesterone. Raquel Martin with Judi Gerstung, D.C
8. Hormone Heresy - What Women MUST Know About Their Hormones. Sherill Sellman
9. Prescription for Nutritional Healing. Phyllis Balch, CNC and James Balch, MD
10. Natural Progesterone Cream: Safe and Natural Hormone Replacement. C. Noramn Shealy, MD, PhD
11. Hormone Balance: A Matter of Life and Health. Kristine B. Klitzke, RN, BSN