Dear Autistic Friends... My Gratitude, Frustrations and Empowerment

Dear Adult Autistic Friends,

Thank you for debunking myths about being an autistic adult for me. Sahara (my 7 year old daughter) has gone from catatonic to achieving daily milestones... and I feel hearing your stories and befriending you has helped me set the bar high for this amazing child (when professionals said to institutionalize her).

Traditional therapy and educators didn't instill compassion and empathy in her. Nor did it teach her to strive for self actualization... which she WILL achieve some day. I have done that (along with father and sister.) Together we have worked day and night to see that she have the highest quality of life. Daily we meditate and focus on what our goals are... not the fears and struggles. If we got caught up in all of the woes than we would have little progress.

I have found gifts wrapped around this journey... and each of you have helped me achieve this. Yes, I know there are struggles... anyone who has read this blog knows I understand the raw side of autism. But, what I don't understand is how you set limits on what your autistic child will do 20 years from now. How do I know she won't get married? Or have a fulfilling career? Or travel on speaking engagements about her autism journey?

I don't... like I told the psych, "We don't have a crystal ball".

But, ironically... the extreme opposite is that I also get frustrated when outsiders talk about the gifts of autism... cause they do not know that raw emotional pain we go through and how much harder our kids have to work at seemingly simple things. I get offended by their assumption that they know more about this journey than us.

They do not see how hard I have worked to pull this child out of catatonia... when told we couldn't. How my persistence and attachment parenting taught her compassion, emotion and empathy... when told she couldn't. How we had to scrape pennies to get natural remedies... when they told us they wouldn't work.

I have worked hard at giving her the best chance at a life she so chooses... because she deserves that and so much more. And she has worked even harder to meet all of our demands on her young being.

Yes, like I always say, we have come a long way... but we have even longer way to go. But today I am optimistic that she will be a productive citizen and have all the opportunities her NT sister has. I know she will always see life through different colored glasses, but she is exceptional beyond the label and limitations of autism... as are all of you.

Thank You for your compassion, understanding, encouragement and friendship... it has helped empower me as a mother of a young girl on the spectrum.

~ Alterna-Mom

Donation Ideas

If you are considering giving to charity as this year ends... please consider local charities or ones that you know where the money is going.

Many people ask if I support Autism Speaks... I do not. For the same reasons I do not buy pink ribbons and walk walks... I don't know where the money trail goes... well, I have my suspicions, but that is not for this post.

WHO DO I SUPPORT?

I support AWN and NZ... With these two organizations, I KNOW where the money trail is and what they are specifically doing to impact our global community.

Autism Womens Network (AWN) supports females on the spectrum and your donation would go towards hosting workshops across the US to educate and empower families like mine.

This community of autistic women have welcomed me, as a NT mother, into their community with open arms... I have developed a vested interest in their work. My goal is to empower other mothers like myself and young girls like my daughter. That simple! To donate click here.

NZ (Numinous Zoe) is a non-denominational, Christ centered church that has offered local resources for me to personally work with the autism community through spiritual and energetic mentorship. Your donation would help continue not only my mission & spiritual growth, but would support outreach to many who may not otherwise afford this alternative mode of care for their families and children. To donate contact Nathan at nnorris@numinouszoe.org

TY to both of these non-profit organizations... your personal support this year to my family and the autism community has been immeasurable!!

AWN: Crucial support to women, teens, girls and families on the autism spectrum

The Autism Women’s Network (AWN) offers crucial support to women, teens, girls and families on the autism spectrum... please take a moment today to read this and take action to let them know that not only does the autism community appreciate their efforts, but so do others.

For the past several months I have posted a link on my Facebook and Twitter page daily for the The Autism Women’s Network’s chance to win a $50,000 grant to help females on the autism spectrum in the Pepsi Refresh Project...

While this is a very important cause to me, I am sure that it is probable that many of my mainstream friends roll their eye as I continue to ask for their support! It is even likely that many will be relieved to hear this will be the last month that AWN will enter this contest.

Over the past few months, by participating in the self-driven need to promote this project, I have been warmly accepted as a mother representing her non-verbal six year old daughter among this community of self-advocates. As my interest in this project strengthened so did my report with several of the women from AWN.

I discuss why I value this project (HERE) and (HERE).

In short, I have a daughter on the spectrum that was not diagnosed until after years of pleading with professionals to listen. (I am certain that her gender played a role in the lack of attention to our continuous concerns.) I also recognize that females are underserved and represented in the presentation of the spectrum.

It isn’t that I ignore male issues on the autism spectrum; I just have a vested interest in female issues because that is my reality. My goal in supporting Autism Women’s Network is simple:

To get the support my children and I need on a personal level. And to globally help girls, teens and adult women (and their families) to get the support and education they need, to prevent abuse, and to promote early intervention for females.

So, how will this project help?

Project Overview:

The Autism Women's Network is unique in that it was founded by women on the autism spectrum. Our mission is to provide effective supports to autistic females of all ages through a sense of community, advocacy, and resources. AWN's Project FAIM ( F emale A utistic I nsight M entoring) workshops will be the 1st of its kind. We plan to set up 5 Project FAIM Workshops across the USA which will focus on qualities specific to females on the autism spectrum. Topics will include: peer supports, adolescence, adult life, relationships, vulnerabilities and successful communications. Project FAIM Workshops will include active supports and information for everyone (autistics, parents, educators, etc.) The participants will meet renowned autistic females whereby gaining valuable insight. We will secure the Autism Women's Network non-profit status so we can continue to provide Community Events, online Forum support & E-Mentoring as well as our AWN Radio Show.

This has already begun to come into fruition through the Pepsi Campaign…

Sharon daVanport, AWN executive director, told me that, “This campaign has put AWN in contact with dozens of organizations, fabulous community minded projects and wonderful men, women and children from coast to coast across the USA.”

Isn’t that exciting!?!?! Imagine how this will impact our autism community as a whole!!

Not only that, AWN has received 9 invitations (including me) to host workshops across the US!! “Most of the invitations have included travel, lodging, and offers of a place to host the events! AWN has almost doubled the number of workshops which the Pepsi Grant would have provided.”

Can it get any better? Well, yes it can…

Sharon said, “The grant funds we were allocating to establish AWN as a non-profit will be minimized. We've had another 501 3C step up and say that they will back AWN through the process of filing all Federal, State, and trademark documents to finalize our non-profit if we do not finish December in the Top 10!”

So it appears that AWN will be winners (2x over) at the end of December whether or not we finish in the top 10!

There are three ways to support this project if you would like to vote for AWN…

VOTE Daily:
(1) On Facebook ☛ http://bit.ly/akQc0P?
(2) Text 101500 to Pepsi at (73774)
(3) Online at: ☛ http://pep.si/eg1mOG

Do you Support Females on the Autism Spectrum? I DO!!

Every morning for the past 11 days I have been reminding my online friends to vote for the Pepsi refresh Project. Specifically, I have asked them to support The Autism Women’s Network to win a $50,000 grant to fund AWN’S PROJECT FAIM (Female Autistic Insight Mentoring) which will host workshops across the USA.

Why is that so important to me?

…Simply, because I have a six year old daughter on the autism spectrum. Really I think that is enough of a reason, don’t you?

Before autism was intimately in my life, I had a fairy tale version of what my life would look like in my head. Yeah, I believe there may have even been a white picket fence in that dream. Silly Me!

When I started noticing (as early as 5 months of age) that my daughter wasn’t developing typically I went through the whole range of emotions… denial, anger, blame – you name it, it was there. Eventually after oceans of tears, I was able to move into a place of acceptance and even gratitude.

Autism HAS blessed my life with friends, opportunities and self growth that would have other wised failed to exist. But, that is my life… it is full of optimism. But, then I hesitate and think about my daughter's future… what will that look like? Will she dream of white picket fences?

Hold the breaks Mom… she is only six!!

Yes, I know, but I don’t think any differently about her life than I do about her neuro-typical sister’s. And with her sister in the middle of the tween-age years I am filled with more questions than answers:

Self esteem ~ Boys ~ Hygiene ~ Dating ~ Peer Pressure ~ Accountability ~ Respect for Self and Others ~ Hormones ~ Friends ~ Academics ~ Body Image ~ Sibling Rivalry ~ Drugs & Alcohol ~ Safe Sex ~ Female Empowerment ~ Communication

And as I am faced with these new issues with her sister, I cannot help but to wonder how I will address this with her. These issues are huge, but couple them with the challenges of autism...

Sensory Processing Issues ~ Communication Barriers ~ Environmental and Dietary Sensitivities ~ Discrimination ~ Physical Limitations ~ Emotional Imbalances ~ Vulnerabilities ~ Stemming ~ Pictorial Thinking ~ Facial Cue Integration ~ Socialization Challenges ~ Cognitive Delays

... and it can be overwhelming. How do I educate her? How do I promote safety? How will she develop self esteem and confidence?

Today she seems to have no awareness of most of these things… she lives for the moment, but that doesn’t mean I don’t prepare myself and become proactive in the female issues that she will eventually face.

I can even let my mind wander about her adult future and what that will look like and what challenges she may or may not endure … And I wonder how does being a female autistic impact these issues for her? How will she get the support she needs to be successful in whatever SHE chooses to do with her life? How will she become an empowered woman when she faces obvious challenges? How will she access the resources she needs for life skills?

College ~ Independent Living ~ Career ~ Marriage ~ Family ~ Childbirth ~ Motherhood ~ Abuse ~ Sexuality ~ Relationships ~ Rape ~ Civil Rights ~ Finances

Raising a daughter has its challenges… add autism to it and it becomes even more challenging.

I am perfectly capable of rising to this challenge… but that doesn’t mean I don’t reach out for supports and education. To me that is what the FAIM project is doing. My daughter does have some empowered Autistic Women on her side, advocating for her and it is through their experience that I embrace hope and yes even excitement about her future.

AWN through their FAIM project will visit 5 US cities to provide “effective supports to autistic females of all ages through sense of community, advocacy, and resources.” This is something our community needs… by community I mean the Female Autistic Community. As a mother to a female child on the autism spectrum, I believe that is my community too. And in my corner of the world we respect, support and encourage members of our community. So... having said that, I am asking all of my friends to support AWN with there vision.

Here is a list of things that this grant will provide (taken directly from the Pepsi Refresh Project Page)…

The Autism Women's Network is unique in that it was founded by women on the autism spectrum. Our mission is to provide effective supports to autistic females of all ages through a sense of community, advocacy, and resources.

· AWN's Project FAIM (Female Autistic Insight Mentoring) workshops will be the 1st of its kind.

· We plan to set up 5 Project FAIM Workshops across the USA which will focus on qualities specific to females on the autism spectrum. Topics will include: peer supports, adolescence, adult life, relationships, vulnerabilities and successful communications. Project FAIM Workshops will include active supports and information for everyone (autistics, parents, educators, etc.)

· The participants will meet renowned autistic females whereby gaining valuable insight.

· We will secure the Autism Women's Network non-profit status so we can continue to provide Community Events, online Forum support & E-Mentoring as well as our AWN Radio Show.

I believe that this grant will start a ripple effect that is needed among the female autistic population. So

, I invite you to vote for The Autism Women’s Network to win a $50,000 grant to fund AWN’S PROJECT FAIM (Female Autistic Insight Mentoring) daily until the end of this month, August 31, 2010.