Dear DQ,
This open letter is to let you know that my autistic daughter was insulted, mocked and experienced defamation of character by some of your employees this evening!!
As I was placing my order, my daughter was ordering beside me as well. How ever cute that may sound (and in my motherly eyes it was cute as well as a huge milestone) it opened her up for abuse by your employees. Because of her infantile autism she has a severe speech delay and speech impediment. For the first four years of her life she was catatonic and we have worked tirelessly to pull her out of her inner world and integrate her into the community. Tonight your employees demonstrated that I need to work harder at educating the general populace!
Tonight as she ordered her ice cream next to me in her broken speech (which sounds like baby babble), one of the workers imitated her sounds in a mocking manner!! Not only was I stunned, but so was her 11 year old sister and father! When I announced we could hear them through the speaker, we heard them burst into laughter. No apology!!
When we pulled up to the window, they didn’t acknowledge the incident at all. I am my daughter’s voice until she finds her own, it is my responsibility to speak up for her rights until she can do so for herself. So I informed the worker that I heard everything through the speaker and that I would like to talk to the manager!! The worker did not deny the incident, and meekly said, “Sorry” as he closed the window. I informed the manager that my daughter is disabled and has a condition called autism. I explained to him what happened and he said he heard laughing but was not aware of what prompted the laughter… he apologized and offered me a 25% discount.
A 25% discount!! Is that the compensation for my disabled daughter being subject to humiliation?
The latest statistic published by the government is that Autism affects 1 in 91 children!! So, to you that means that every 91st kid who comes through your lobby or drive thru is going to be autistic! Your workers must learn not only basic etiquette and common courtesy, but tolerance for those with disabilities. Is it not bad enough we have to fight day and night for the rights of our children with the schools, doctors, insurance companies and politicians… but now with the boys at the local Dairy Queen?
What those workers did was nothing more than bullying and defamation of her character. I have already told many of my friends in the autism community about this incident and many have already said they are going to boycott DQ.
I would like a formal and public apology to not only my daughter, but to the autism community as a whole. And would like to know what DQ as an entity would like to do about this?!?!
Below is the location and information on the order ticket.
Susan Richardson
Dairy Queen
2580 Bethal Road
Columbus, Ohio
Date: October 13, 2010
AIA003984099311
Server 122 Jeffery
Posts
After reading your letter to my husband, he made a very good point. He understands that autism is your personal trigger. However, he was disgusted for a larger reason: it is unthinkable that someone would treat ANY human that way, regardless of the reason. Be it autism, a physical disability, whatever... every human on the planet has the right to be treated with basic respect. For them to have treated you and your daughter this way is... I don't even have the words.
ReplyDeleteDairy Queen- is this how you want your brand represented? Your workers have publicly humiliated customers, and shown absolutely no remorse whatsoever when called on it. My husband and I will be joining the boycott of Dairy Queen, because as a mother, as a wife and as a disabled person in my own right, I absolutely refuse to spend my hard-earned dollars in a store that will allow this sort of behavior.
A 25% discount is such a slap in the face. How about a promise to explain to their employees why this behavior is inappropriate? Perhaps the manager was involved as well, I don't know. All I do know is that this makes me physically ill.
25%... how generous.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Laynie that treating any human -- or in language perhaps DQ would better understand: ANY CUSTOMER -- this way is unacceptable. I believe perhaps DQ workers need better training, apparently in customer service, as well as sensitivity training. Because you can't teach common sense.
I cannot believe I am reading this. I am disgusted and appalled at such behavior! I work with children and adolescents with developmental disabilities [primary autism] and could never imagine experience something like this. We have a great environment for them in a residential home, and bring them out into the community often. Never have I EVER experienced something like this. In fact, most places I go are very accepting, and even know the residents of the home that I work for...and the pizza place doesn't give them free pizza and soda because they're disabled...but because they're FRIENDS of the workers there. Some may have no language, but the workers are still amazingly friendly and take care of their regular customers.
ReplyDeleteI will also be boycotting DQ. I hope this gets resolved, and your daughter gets a public apology!
Best of luck to you and your family!
A wonderful open... non emotional letter. We can only dream of the ripples that this may cause..... ripples of education, acceptance & understanding.
ReplyDeleteWe had the same conversation when My husband asked if I would be this upset if it were our nuero-typical daughter... and I said 'yes'.
ReplyDeleteSo DQ what are you going to do about this,I know I will not be eating @ any of your places,,,this is far spred,I live in Iowa,And it will go & go,because I'm going to share.
ReplyDeleteI too, am going to boycott DQ...this is a HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE way to treat ANY customer, disabled or not....those employees should be fired and so should the manager who dissed you and your daughter..i agree...a 25% discount is a freaking insult!!!! I am an adult who is on the autism spectrum, and i have had alot of cuztomer service nightmares myself. To this day, will not go to any of the Burger Kings here in my town, nor to our local Hometown Buffett, or three of our Jack In The Box's or one of our local Carl's Jr. stores, nor to our McDonalds stores...b/c i was treated badly at these places....with Hometown Buffett being my WORST experience!!!!
ReplyDeleteWith every 1 in 90 child and adult now being diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, these places need to train their employees more than ever in good customer service, and not just that, etiquette and plain old-fashioned MANNERS as well....i think that what Heather said about where she lives, THAT should be how it is EVERYWHERE!!!!! We are ALL human beings...and all of us deserve to be treated with respect and dignity!!!!! SHAME ON YOU, DAIRY QUEEN!!!! I hope this makes the national news and that millions of people boycott this poor excuse for a fast food establishment!!!!!!
Had a bad experience at a restaurant ourselves last week with our daughter who also has autism.
ReplyDeleteDairy Queen should take note because we will not be going there either until they apologize or make those employees take some sort of training.
I sit this morning feeling dis-spirited. I just read about how a judge in Britain let 3 thugs off with non-custodial sentences for torturing a young man with Aspergers for 3 days. Now this. 25%? a joke.
ReplyDeleteTHank you for your well considered but still passionate letter. I sincerely hope that DQ takes this up at a high level. It is not OK that our society is so brutal in it's lack of care. Your post and actions add to public knowledge that it is not Ok to treat anyone like this. I am glad your daughter has you for her mother. Sending big hugs across the ocean.
It makes me sick to hear how your daughter was treated and even worse the lame response of the manager. Did he really think all you were after was a discount? That is how that 25% crap comes across to me. I am glad you are telling this painful story. If it helps "cure" even one mean nasty cruel individual it's worth it!
ReplyDeleteI am truly saddened by this story. I hope that the establishment that is DQ will make amends. Unfortunately, the majority of DQ employees are teenagers. They are obviously not being taught tolerance and acceptance in their homes. Hopefully DQ will reprimand them and provide training on acceptance and tolerance since they are obviously so lacking in these areas. If after the reprimand and training, the employees do not change their behavior, they should be fired. I eagerly await DQ's response to this matter. I do not yet blame DQ for this ignorant behavior until they have shown what actions they will take to correct the behavior. If they take the right actions then obviously they do not condone the behavior. If they take the wrong action, then I too will boycott DQ, which is one of my childrens' favorite places to get ice cream. For my daughter's sake, she has down syndrome, and for the rest of the communities sake, I hope DQ steps up and sets an example that this appalling behavior will not be accepted or tolerated.
ReplyDeleteI am going to link to this blog. Lets see if we can get others too also. BTW did you contact corporate?
ReplyDeleteYou should contact their corporate offices for sure. It's sad when things like this happen. Hopefully you'll get a public apology.
ReplyDeleteYou seem like a wonderful mom and your daughter is blessed to have you.
I'm a new follower of your blog and look forward to hopefully hearing a follow up to this.
http://www.dairyqueen.com/us-en/talk-to-dq/locate-restaurant/
ReplyDeleteAmerican Dairy Queen Corporation
7505 Metro Blvd.
Minneapolis, MN 55439-0286
Phone: (952) 830-0200
This is incomprehensible; no one should treat anyone this way. We live in a world where cruelty has become acceptable, and obviously, the person in charge does not have to walk in your shoes. You should demand that these employees apologize personally to you. They should not be allowed to think that what they did was acceptable. I saw an article where a 33 year old woman bullied a dying child online, and continue to be appalled at what our world has become.
ReplyDeleteIt breaks my heart to hear this and makes me very angry at the same time. There is no excuse for this kind of behavior from these DQ employees. In my opinion they should be sent to a group home for training or spend a night or two in my house and get a taste of how hard it is to constantly work with someone with Autism. My daughter is severely autistic with no meaningful speech but she is a beautiful girl and deserves to be treated with respect and kindness as everyone should be treated. Manners and compassion have disappeared and maybe should be taught in school. I will definitely boycott DQ over this.
ReplyDeleteThat was very rude of them and the manager should have taken better control of the situation. That broke my heart reading what they did. Good for you for standing up to them! You are your daughters voice. I hope you do get that public apology for your daughter as she deserves that more than anything. I am now following your blog.
ReplyDeleteThere has been lots of news coverage lately on the effects of bullying. This is another example of it. Each and every one of the employees involved should be fired or reprimanded severely, according to whatever policies DQ has in place for such rude and irresponsible behavior. Perhaps therapy or at least sensitivity training could be in store for these individuals. Please let us know if an apology comes through, because until it does my family won't be going there either.
ReplyDeleteDoes Dairy Queen have a website or Facebook page? I would post your letter there as well. I would also send it to the local papers as a letter to the editor. I'm SO sorry you had to go through this and I'm hopping mad too! DQ was never my fave place anyway because of all the unsupervised teenage workers, but this is over the top! I will never eat there again even if they do apologize!
ReplyDeleteLet us know if you need anything! Namaste, Kerry
You've written a great letter on behalf of your family, mine and the other 1 in 91 families out there.
ReplyDeleteThank you for refusing to accept this behavior and for fighting for families and kids like ours!!
My heart goes out to the family that this happened too. But I think it's not the Company's fault, it's how so much of society is today. I was just in a department store and a grocery store-both this week, and the workers were more interested in their personal conversations, then they were in assisting me. And the conversation's details are often embarrassing! It reminds me of my Mom, who had to raise us kids alone mostly, as my Dad's job kept him away from home most days/nights-but he was always there on Sunday to take us to church. I remember Mom getting complimented on the good behavior of her 3 boys and 1 girl-me. In recent decades, I guess it comes somewhat, from Mom's having to work and kids growing up-not being raised-by their 2 parents, and not having relatives and friends around to assist. I like DairyQueen, not that I need the calories! The Manager may have needed to talk to his boss, before he could offer any 'monetary form of repayment' for the boy's crude behavior and his insulting offer. I think this mother & child should inside the restaurant, sit and order something, and then afterward, ask to talk face to face with the Manager. Offer to talk with the boys too. Hopefully, if the boys are around the child-get acquainted, they might 'truly be sorry' and 'learn from this' - hopefully anyway. The kids were probably just showing out to each other, totally not thinking of others. Let's pray for the children & parents, that God will give them special grace, to help them raise these precious children-and lend a hand-when we can!
ReplyDeleteAs a consumer of DQ, I was appalled and astounded. This is no way to treat ANYONE, especially someone with a disability!
ReplyDeleteI don't have words to express my outrage at this incident--and I'm a writer by trade!!
I will be boycotting DQ as well.
Thank you everyone for showing Sahara and my family support!! I have been in contact with the corporate office (5:30pm) and am waiting for a reply... in the meantime, if Sahara's story touched you... let DQ know. I have directed them to this blog, but you can contact them directly by this link: http://www.dairyqueen.com/us-en/talk-to-dq/contact-us/
ReplyDeleteFirst, you are trying to institute a boycott of Dairy Queen—are you trying to have all Dairy Queens boycotted or just the one where the incident happened? Are you asking that I boycott the Dairy Queens in my town because of this incident?
ReplyDeleteSurely you must realize that most Dairy Queen stores are franchises, meaning that they are owned by individuals or other entities that license the use of the Dairy Queen name, products, etc. in exchange for the fee. I will guarantee that the person who owns the Dairy Queen in my town is not the same person who owns the Dairy Queen in your town. But according to you, the owner of the DQ in my town should be harmed because of the actions of what happened in a store that he has no control over, no ownership interest in . . . and not only should he suffer but, indirectly, his employees as well. If enough people boycott the DQ in my town, the owner would have to close the store, putting all of his employees out of work . . . even if his employees have done nothing but shown the great kindness towards children when special needs.
Second, could the person working the drive thru even see that it was a special needs child that they were “mocking”? Usually, all the workers hear are voices over the speaker . . . they usually cannot see the people in the car making the order . . . or if they can, it is from a great distance or through a video monitor, making it very difficult to discern individual faces.
For all you know, the DQ workers could have reasonably thought that it was an infant making the sounds . . . and that they were making them back, as people often do when they talk to infants.
Third, whose feelings were hurt? You said nothing about how your special needs child felt about the episode or if she were even aware of what happened (until Mommy when into meltdown mode).
Fourth, what were you really trying to accomplish by confronting the manager? Get the employees fired? Or get money? “A 25% discount!! Is that the compensation for my disabled daughter being subject to humiliation?” How much were you expecting?
Hello Susan, It's Cyndi! To the last anonymous writer: You are right about the Dairy Queen franchises be owned by different individuals. And you are right that others should not pay for the sins of a few but that's where it ends. Dairy Queen should know that they have franchises that do not hold up their standards if they do have standards.And I take offense to your comment about knowing who they were mocking. A person in the drive through should not mock ANYONE. And does it matter if a special needs child knows they are being insulted or not. Am I to understand you think it's ok to make fun of someone as long as they don't know it. Hmmm....that's interesting. And to your 4th point...I promise you that it's not about the money. But I'm not sure you would understand.
ReplyDeleteThis is Cyndi from Texas...not Anonymous from somewhere.
Are you being too sensitive - absolutely - I think anyone who has a non verbal child and has gone through the great lengths that I know you have to finally have them formulate words only to be mocked would be. Actually, It is not being overly sensitive, it is being an advocate, an advocate for those children without a voice. I do hope you get an apology personally in writing from those teens so they will understand the impact of mindless teasing and become educated about autism. Im also hoping Dairy Queen apologizes for their employees, educates their employees and good will come out of a bad situation. With education will come compassion, keep educating, we will get there.
ReplyDeleteDear Susan,
ReplyDeleteI'm so very sorry your child was mocked and abused this way. As an autistic person and the parent of 2 autistic children, I've totally been there - in fact, last year I had to file a formal complaint about a nurse who, shall we say, needed a major attitude adjustment. And this is someone who *should've* known better; clearly we need more education on all fronts!
Now.. while I don't agree with the critical tone of "Anonymous" above, I do think he/she has a point in thinking about what specific outcome you want from all of this. Do you only want an apology? Do you want the manager/employees to be formally reprimanded? Do you want everyone to be given sensitivity training? Many years ago, I worked at a complaints desk and, when asked "What are you going to do about this??", we'd turn the question back on them: "How can we make this right?" The people that had specific solutions in mind usually got the most satisfaction. Just a thought there. :)
Good luck!
i think this is awful. every person is entitled to be treated with dignity whether disabled or not. I'm sorry this has happened. rose
ReplyDeleteLet me add DQ to my list since my post on Carls Jr. is up now and live! They didn't even call me back just hung up on me and corporate didn't return my email, big shock!!! My blog is up regarding that incident as well!
ReplyDeleteI find it sad that teens should act like they did to your daughter. I have been preaching for many years about babys and all the way up to grown ups the kind of tv they watch.And some parents use tv like a baby sitter. I feel that this is a much bigger issue than just the DQ issue. But then we have all known this for a long time. I teach Reiki and one of the field trips we offer is to go to the local zoo and rent the handycap chairs for a day and my students may have the oportunity to experience how handycap people are treated by some.I did this myself for the experience and it was not just the teens that are very rude.
ReplyDeleteBlessings to the parents out there that still monitor what their children are exposed to from TV and other inflential experiences.
Blessings, Cheryl
ps I did not intend this to be anonyous but I could not figure out how to make it otherwise.. sorry..
This makes me very sad. I agree with the majority of the comments that no one should be mocked or made to feel humiliated regardless of if they have special needs or not. Last week was customer service appreciation week. I work in customer service at my company and they spent the entire week thanking us for being the public face of the corporation. See, buisnesses know that they cannot thrive without customer satisfaction being a priority. If you are satisfied with your service, you might tell one or two people. If you are dissatisfied you tell on average 20. And if you are outright offended or abused as a customer? Well in today's social media age you could quite literally tell the world.
ReplyDeleteI agree to a point that a nationwide boycott of DQ may be taking things a step to far... I would likley take this to the owner of that particular store and see what sort of apology he offers. Unfortunatly the people who did this are just teens working for minimum wage, probably because they are being forced to "get a job" by their parents who can't stand them to be home themselves. There isn't going to be much that they can do at this point to take back what was done. Hopefully, the kids involved are embarrassed to find that the child they were mocking had special needs and that settles a lesson into their souls for the future. The absolute best case scenario is that the incident prompts the managment of the store to educate and re-train his employees on how to appropriately represent the company. Good Luck.
I agree with Xina, calling for a national boycott of Dairy Queen due to autism related bullying does not seem fair to me either. I think you have already accomplished what you set out to do by bringing awareness to special needs children and embarrassing the store and workers there. Sometimes it's the small victories that count the most.
ReplyDeleteA NATIONAL BOYCOTT IS CRAZY. AS WEVE HEARD FROM MANY OTHERS THIS IS AN ISOLATED INCIDENT. IM SURE THE SITUATION WILL BE HANDLED THROUGH THE D.Q. THAT THIS HAPPENED AT. AND IM CURIOUS AS TO WHAT EXACTLY WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAPPEN.
ReplyDeleteNo where in this letter did she EVER mention herself or anyone boycotting DQ.
ReplyDeleteYOUR RIGHT BUT SHE SAID THE FRIENDS THAT SHE HAS TOLD WAS BOYCOTTING DQ. SO YES IT IS IMPLIED! AND BEFORE EVERYONE PASSES JUDGEMENT ON ALL DQ'S WE SHOULD THINK ABOUT EACH AND EVERY D.Q. AS INDIVIDUALS NOT AS A WHOLE. BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL DIFFERENT!
ReplyDeleteI know our local DQ would not allow this to happen. Victor trains his employees concerning customers and working as a team. However, I have let this other incident be known to him because it matters when local restaurants talk to the main headquarters about their concerns. Policies and standards come from the top down, and pausing business at DQ's until their is an enforced policy in place matters.
ReplyDeleteI also will stop going to DQ and I live in Philadelphia, I will tell all my friends and family to stop going also until they make this right.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for what happened, Susan.
ReplyDeleteThis should be a lesson to all those working for the customer service. How you reacted not just a mother but also as a consumer is a big thing to consider. Like call center agents, they should be courteous, nice, and approachable in making conversations with their clients. All companies should make an effort to teach their employees practice good customer service.
This makes me sick!!! I am litterly in tears right now. I know Sahara, she is a beautiful, smart, expressive, creative and caring person. Our chilren would never ever treat a living creature is such a horrible way. Why others think it is okay to mock and hummuliate such loving people is nuts. No more DQ for our family either. Even if she gets an apology, I'm never eating there again. A boycott will send a message that you CAN NOT disrespect people. I am African American and belive me, if this had happened to a young black child, it would be on national news. The same should apply. Everyone of us knows a person with a disability, so this incedent affects all of us. Sahara's hummilation might as well have been directed to all persons with disabilites.
ReplyDelete