Yesterday I Hated Autism

Yesterday I hated autism; I love love love my daughter, but autism…

I wanted it out of our lives forever. It is like a bad rash on your ass… You know it is there, but others cannot see it and don’t know it is there. Yes, they can suspect something is wrong, but unless you let them in on your little secret they don’t know.

Sometimes it burns and itches like hell… all you can do is complain about this annoying circumstance you find yourself facing, but that doesn’t make it better. And every step you take has to be carefully thought out and orchestrated. The intensity of the burn causes you to be irritable, short, and emotionally violent.

Sometimes you move in slow precise ways to ease its agony and those paying close attention see something is bothering you but they just can’t put their finger on what it is. Then there are those you trust enough to tell all about this freaking rash on your ass; they show empathy, offer ointments, and a comforting shoulder, but none of them can make it go away. In fact, even if they have a rash of their own they still can’t possibly understand how YOU feel about YOUR rash.

BUT, Today I embrace autism; I love the lessons autism teaches me.

Autism...

teaches me patience

teaches me tolerance

teaches me about my weakness

teaches me that I am human

teaches me that I have strength beyond measurement

teaches me the true meaning of unconditional love

teaches me that the world is full of differences

teaches me to be resourceful

teaches me to slow down

teaches me to be creative

teaches me diversity

teaches me that God trusts me

teaches me that I am my child's biggest advocate

teaches me that my child is exceptional beyond labels

teaches me that we communicate beyond words

teaches me that we love beyond actions

teaches me...

(By no means, does this post have any derogatory intention meant towards my child or anyone else facing the autism label... it does have to do with the system, attitudes, IEP's, and the moments of helplessness we all feel on this journey. It was my expression about a day that really sucked in the world of autism.)