In the United States, prior to the 19th century, it was customary for an infant/child to sleep within close proximity to it's mother. However, it may surprise you that more cultures than not continue to participate in the parental act of co-sleeping with their young.
The mother co-sleeping is better able to attend to the child's needs when the child is placed in close proximity to her. This act tends to promote security and a sense of well-being within the child. Cultures that nurture their children 24 hours a day tend to produce more secure, balanced, and productive adults.
On the contrary, when a child is left isolated in a private room to cry itself to sleep, cortisol levels are raised creating a stressed immune response and higher blood pressure & insulin levels. A study was performed on baby monkeys that concluded that when a child is left in this manner, that even when it is able to self soothe it continues to have high cortisol levels.
So, our child is quite and we are all sleeping, but internally the child is experiencing biological stress levels even though it is not demonstrating an outward stress reaction. In the monkey study the monkeys cortisol remained high even after 80 episodes of being left alone. Could this contribute to some of the disorders and illnesses our children are experiencing now more than ever? (ADHD, autism, juvenile diabetes, violence, mental challenges?)
I don't know the answer to that... But I do know that when a child is soothed and it's innate cues (cries) are understood and responded to appropriately, the child will learn to trust and rely upon the mother and develop a greater self confidence. This trust and effective communication skill will transcend not only through infancy but through childhood and into the teenage years and adulthood.
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Hey Susan ~
ReplyDeleteCongrats on starting your own blog. I think you will love having the ability to get all those thoughts out of your head and onto something tangible. Plus it is a great way to organize information to view later.
As for the family bed...I can't say I'm a believer in it. I think it make sense very early on, but in my own opinion, the sooner you move them into their own space the more dependent they will become. They will learn to soothe themselves - which is an important life lesson - and you will get more, deep rest which parents need to well, be parents.
Most every parent I know who co-sleeps comes to a point where it is time to reclaim their parental bed and finds it nearly impossible to break the habit. They have created a life-long situation where the child is so dependent on having that connection that it becomes an issue in their marriage.
Maybe I'm the old-fashioned type - but Mommy & Daddy should sleep together...alone (save a bad dream, sickness or bad weather). It's good for the marriage and ultimately healthy for the children to respect their parent's relationship and privacy.
But...I've never tried it the other way. So who am I to say?
~Cheri
Cheri-
ReplyDeleteThanks for being my first follower! You actually influenced me to start this blog by inviting me to yours... how cool is that?
As for the family bed; you make very valid points. It is obviously a decision that a wife and husband need to make as a marital unit. We decided together early on that attachment parenting was a way in which we wanted to raise our kids. We have found creative ways to connect, and by no means has it inhibited our intimacy.
We don’t view the girls co-sleeping in our bed as a means to an unhealthy dependency; our experience has been just the opposite. Especially when I was working out of the home, we all found comfort connecting in the evenings.
Susan